Ali Grew – Theatre Workshop Coulsdon

The Sweet Science of Bruising

Victorian London, 1869. The shadowy world of female boxing provides the opportunity for four very different women to break away from the lives that have been ordained for them by society.

Polly Stokes is a fighter, has been ever since she was abandoned on a doorstep as a babe. Irish-born Mattie Blackwell lives on the streets, her life a constant battle to survive. Violet Hunter wants to be a doctor but no man will let her, and Anna Lamb seems to have it all, a husband, children, a house, servants… but in truth, she has nothing.

Held in by corsets, held back by men, the violent release they find in the boxing ring brings them a form of freedom they’ve never known, but at the final bell, there can only be one Lady Boxing Champion of the World.

An epic tale of passion, power, politics and pugilism from the pen of Joy Wilkinson and performed with verve by TWC.

Burnley-born Joy Wilkinson is an accomplished and prize-winning author who has written several plays (Now is the Time, Fair and Britain’s Best Recruiting Sergeant among others), plus numerous TV and film scripts covering a range from sci-fi/fantasy such as Doctor Who and Lockwood & Co. through to thrilling dramas Suspect and The Pact, via Holby City, Casualty and Land Girls.

Beauty and The Beast – The Panto

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon’s Christmas 2018 production is an all-new, original pantomime based on the much-loved fairy tale, ‘Beauty and the Beast’. This classic tale, and its underlying message that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, has been transformed into a full-fat panto, rocket fuel for the winter season, chock-full of larger than life characters, sing-along songs and audience participation, as the lovely Beauty finds that the monstrous Beast is not what she was expecting. A full band and a large ensemble cast (Bumbling guards, saucy maids, talking vegetation and puppet creatures) support a tale of good versus the evil that is Deadly McNightshade, the woman who puts the wicked into witch and gives it a Scottish accent. Can true love break the dread spell that has locked a handsome prince in a prison he can never escape from? Oh yes it can!

But where did the original story come from? Well, once upon a time there was a woman called Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve (They had some cracking names back then) Born in Paris in 1685, she was married at 21 and widowed at 26, her aristocratic but spendthrift husband losing his life almost as swiftly as he lost their money. With her family fortune gone, she needed a way to support herself and eventually moved in with the celebrated playwright and poet Prosper Jolyot de Crebillon (See, another one!) where she began to write. From 1734 through to her death in 1755 she wrote novels and collections of fairy tales but most notably, in 1740, she wrote ‘La Belle et La Bête’, or as we know it, ‘Beauty and the Beast’. It formed part of a much larger story, and was much more complicated than we’re used to now. The simpler version is down to another Frenchwoman, Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont (and another!) who re-wrote the tale as a much shorter story and published it the year after Villeneuve’s death without acknowledging its origins. Which was a bit sneaky. Boo! Hiss!

Since then it’s become a children’s fairytale classic. Of course, that meant it got the full Disney treatment, twice now, both as a cartoon (1991) and a live-action movie (2017). But there have also been numerous other movie and TV adaptations, a stage musical, an opera, a ballet, and even songs, a disco tune and video games. Its themes of love conquering all and never judging by appearances are simple and easily relatable. And so Sheila May Bird, published children’s author (‘Pete’s Peculiar Petshop’, ‘Pirate Percy’s Parrot’ and others that don’t begin with the letter ‘P’) and long-time member of Theatre Workshop Coulsdon, decided that what had been missing all these years was a pantomime version, full of silliness, slapstick, songs, an audience participation number and the kind of ‘behind you!’ nonsense that makes going to the theatre at this time of year so much fun.

The Adventures of Jason and the Argonauts

The legends of Ancient Greece have continued to weave their magic through our imaginations for over two thousand years. The capricious Gods and Goddesses of Mount Olympus playing with the fates of ordinary mortals for both good and ill. But from the ranks of those mortals came the fabled heroes, those who rose to the challenges and won out despite all. Odysseus taking on the mighty one-eyed giant Cyclops. Theseus defeating the monstrous Minotaur in the labyrinth of Crete. Jason and his Argonauts travelling far and risking everything in search of the Golden Fleece.

This last provides the basis for our winter production. But don’t worry, you won’t need a degree in the classics to work out what’s going on. This is a very loose interpretation of the myths handed down over the centuries. Jason and Medea are two mixed-up kids, an orphan and a runaway, who suddenly find themselves tasked with overthrowing the evil tyrant King Pelias. With a certain amount of divine intervention, Jason becomes the captain of the mighty ‘Argo’, a ship capable of crossing the uncharted seas, with a crew of oddball heroes including the world’s strongest (and possibly clumsiest) man, a wonderful woman warrior, a resting rock star, the least identical twins ever and a seriously streetwise cat. Now he must set off and find the Golden Fleece. If only he knew what it was. And then there are the challenges. The man-eating Harpies of Lemnos, the terrible Clashing Rocks, the fire-breathing Great Bull of Colchis, the evil Dragon Snake and Talos, the bronze giant. (Who might just be a really cool sock puppet.) Not to mention The Sirens…

Medea, Jason and his misfit Argonauts are here this December to have fun. This will be no ordinary adventure tale, but one with songs and laughter, and we’ll be encouraging you to join in, whether you’re five or sixty five. Ever fancied rowing the Argo? You’ll get your chance. Become part of the undead army of skeleton warriors? Oh yes.

The award-winning author of ‘Jason and the Argonauts’, Phil Willmott, is mainly famous around these parts for his creation of the hilariously stiff upper-lipped ‘Dick Barton – Special Agent’ spoofs that were so much a part of the sadly demised Warehouse Theatre in Croydon. But he’s written, adapted and directed numerous productions, many derived from classical sources, and we’re more than pleased to link up with him again.

Reginald Rare – Rocketeer Extraordinaire

‘Reginald Rare – Rocketeer Extraordinaire’, is an affectionate spoof on the classic sci-fi comic strip, ‘Dan Dare – Pilot of the Future’, as created by illustrator Frank Hampson and appeared in the ‘Eagle’ from 1950 through to 1967.

In 1945, WW2 Spitfire ace Squadron Leader Reginald Rare is shot down while on a top secret mission over Germany by a experimental Nazi freeze ray. Awakening after decades of cryogenic suspension, Reg finds himself in the far-flung year 2015, and a world quite unlike his own. Countries and borders are gone, merged into one united World Government. Women and men are equals. Poverty has been eradicated. But the Earth is under threat from the Venereans – fiendish alien overlords of Venus. They’re using a powerful heat ray to cause global warming, and once they’ve destroyed life on Earth, the dastardly Venereans will occupy it as their new home! The trouble is, that Earth gave up war decades ago, and no longer knows how to fight. The newly-promoted head of the armed forces can’t even tell the difference between a set of bagpipes and an instrument of torture! (Hmmm.)

As the only man in the world with combat experience, bravery and a natural air of command unsullied by knowledge or common sense, Reg – a man out of his time in so many ways – is immediately recruited by the Earth’s government to lead a mission to Venus to carry the fight to the enemy. Accompanied by a hand-picked crew of assorted misfits and weirdos (‘Oily’ Wragg, the chief engineer, Bruce McKenzie the Xenobiologist and Giuseppe Bernatelli, the weapons specialist – sorry, chef, as well as the entirely delectable but decidedly feisty physicist and astrogator Dr Mary Honeydew) – Reg heads for Venus in his brand-new untried rocket ship, with a brand-new untried weapon, to give those alien fiends what for! And save the world, obviously. What could possibly go wrong?

Spiffing adventures ensue, by turns comical and thrilling, in a fast moving yet knowing homage to the lantern-jawed sci-fi hero of yesteryear, written by Sean Young and now brought joyously to life on stage.

Special mention to director Pete Bird who with only a couple of weeks to go, had to step in and play Bruce McKenzie after Joe Wilson had fallen ill with appendicitis!

The Adventures of Robin Hood

Good King Richard is dead, and the throne is now held by his brother John, a man determined to make his mark no matter what the cost to the people he rules. In Nottingham, the evil Sheriff brutally extorts higher and higher taxes for his royal master, putting dissenters to the sword. The land has never been in greater need of a hero.

This Summer, we’re back in our idyllic woodland glade at the Coulsdon Manor Hotel with that most celebrated icon of English folklore, Robin Hood. Alongside his outlaw allies, Little John, Will Scarlet, Alan A’Dale and Friar Tuck, aided by the fearless Marian Fitzwalter, they’re going to challenge the tyranny and injustice that the Sheriff and his royal patron are imposing on the good people of England, and tear the whole rotten edifice down. Or die trying.

High adventure and fun on a Summer’s evening – among the trees in the good company of the free men of Sherwood, witnessing thrilling and entertaining encounters as the fight for freedom begins, with sword, with bow, with quarterstaff and with laughter.

It’s A Wonderful Life

Bedford Falls is a small town in a big country, and for as long as he can remember, George Bailey had wanted to leave it behind and see the world, make a real difference. Somehow though, he never got the chance. Now, on a cold Christmas Eve, he stands on a snow-clad bridge parapet, looking down into the dark, icy river below. He faces ruin, but perhaps one last sacrifice can salvage some small hope for those he loves. But kind eyes are watching, and on the edge of tragedy, George is given a divine opportunity to see how his life has changed so many others.

This new adaptation of ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ by Mary Elliot Nelson follows George and many of the other inhabitants of Bedford Falls from the end of the Great War, through the Depression of the 1930’s, to the end of the Second World War. From high school prom to happy marriage, the wins and the losses, the smiles and heartbreak, the characters both good and bad that make up life in Bedford Falls.

This play is based on the now classic 1946 movie directed by Frank Capra and starring James Stewart and Donna Reed. It’s an uplifting, moving story of love, redemption and community. It’s also a brilliant, evocative slice of period small town Americana.

My Fair Lady

Lerner and Loewe’s celebrated stage musical adaptation of George Bernard Shaw’s ‘Pygmalion’ includes some of the best known and best loved show tunes ever written. From ‘Wouldn’t It Be Loverley’ to ‘I’m Getting Married in the Morning’, ‘I Could Have Danced All Night’ and ‘With A Little Bit Of Luck’.

It’s the story of a cockney flower girl’s transformation into the pride of London society – and its unforeseen consequences. In many places it’s very funny; in others, very poignant. When overbearing Professor Higgins stumbles on Eliza Doolittle outside Covent Garden Opera House, he recognises that her hideous vowels and lost consonants are all that separates her from the upper classes. Higgins casually makes a wager that within weeks he can pass Eliza off in polite society as a Duchess. But little does he know that beneath the dirty face and shabby clothes, young Eliza is stuffed full of human feeling. Too eloquent for a flower girl, yet lacking the breeding of the ruling classes, what on earth is to become of Eliza when the bet is over and the game has reached an end?

‘My Fair Lady’ was Lerner and Loewe’s musical adaptation of George Bernard Shaw’s ‘Pygmalion’, a much darker tale than the highly successful Broadway, West End and Hollywood show tells.

The character of ‘Pygmalion’ comes from Greek mythology, where he was sculptor who fell in love with a statue he had created, a statue that then comes to life. Bernard Shaw took that tale and twisted it, the sculptor becoming Henry Higgins, and the thing he creates, Eliza Doolittle. His play debuted in 1913 in Vienna, before going on to London and New York. Critics were generally favourable, though the ending created a certain level of controversy. A standard love story this wasn’t, and the ending was no more conventional. A film version was made in 1938, starring Leslie Howard as Higgins and Wendy Hiller as Eliza, and Shaw, initially distrustful, agreed to it being made only if he had a certain amount of creative control. This resulted in Shaw writing a whole new ballroom scene, the creation of a new character ‘Zoltan Karpathy’, and a new ending. He and his fellow screenwriters were awarded an Oscar for the screenplay, for which Shaw was characteristically dismissive, but it would be this screenplay that would be used as the basis for the musical.

The director of the movie, Gabriel Pascal, had spoken with Shaw about making it into a musical, but the author had refused. However, when Shaw died in 1950, that barrier was no longer an issue. Pascal approached lyricist Alan Jay Lerner to write the musical, with his partner, composer Frederick Loewe. At first, they couldn’t make it work but eventually they found a way, though not before Pascal had died. They called it ‘My Fair Lady’ after a provisional title to Shaw’s play ‘Pygmalion’, and it referred to the Cockney pronunciation of ‘Mayfair Lady’, helping to show Eliza’s transformation from working-class girl to upper-class woman. The part of ‘Higgins’ was initially offered to Noel Coward, who turned it down but suggested they approach Rex Harrison. ‘Eliza’ was offered to Broadway veteran Mary Martin who also turned it down, and they went instead for newcomer Julie Andrews. It opened on Broadway in March 1956 and was a massive success, going on to become, at the time, the biggest grossing Broadway show ever.

The 1964 movie was a similar success, winning eight Oscars including those for Best Picture and Best Actor (Rex Harrison). Interestingly, the Best Actress Oscar that year went to Julie Andrews for her portrayal of Mary Poppins, having been rejected for reprising the part of Eliza as not being famous enough by the studio. It went, famously, to Audrey Hepburn, whose singing voice was overdubbed by Marni Wood.

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon’s presentation of this fabulous show was directed by veteran actor/director Richard Lloyd with musical director and pianist Mark Taylor, and features Dan Carr as Professor Henry Higgins, Indianna Scorziello as flower-seller Eliza Doolittle, Paul Ford as her ne’er-do-well father Alfred, and Mike Brown as the bluff and amiable Col. Pickering.

Henry V

Cry God For Harry, England and St George!

This tale of a young man finding his way to be King through a baptism of bloody war against the French is surely the most bold and stirring of Shakespeare’s histories. From his first forays at diplomacy to his nervous attempts to win the heart of a princess, Henry, a one-time rogue more used to the company of thieves than the ways of court, finds that his responsibilities outweigh the power he now wields. And that victory, even a glorious victory on the fields of Agincourt, comes at no small price…
‘Henry V’ sees Theatre Workshop Coulsdon return to grounds of Coulsdon Manor Hotel for their tenth season, following on from previous successes with ‘Wind in the Willows’, ‘Dick Barton and the Slaves of the Sultan’, ‘Much Ado about Nothing’, ‘The Canterbury Tales’ and ‘A Midsummer’s Night Dream’. This show will be no less colourful and entertaining.
With a BBQ and bar set under the gently setting sun and summer stars, this is open-air theatre at its finest.

Sherlock Holmes and the Vampyres of London

London 1887. When the mortal remains of a young aristocrat vanish in the dead of night from Brompton Necropolis, Sherlock Holmes is no sooner asked to investigate than a second mystery presents itself – a beautiful young heiress afflicted by unaccountable night terrors; her vitality slipping away.

As these two strange cases resolve themselves into one, Holmes and his steadfast companion, Dr. John Watson, are plunged into a hidden London of grave-robbing grotesques, murderous Szgany gypsies, and demonic possession that obscures a diabolical conspiracy to overthrow the Crown itself.

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon’s thrilling homage to late Victorian gothic pits two of fiction’s most enduring characters against each other. But in the fog-shrouded metropolis where nothing is what it seems, which towering colossus of literary legend will triumph in this savage, epochal battle of wits?

From the author:

Indulging an occasional impulse to put something dark on stage, when ‘Sherlock Holmes and the Vampyres of London’ slid into my head, I thought I’d hit upon an original idea. Ah well. Ten minutes on Google laid bare an entire sub-culture of Holmes vs. Dracula novels, comics and essays. I guess bringing together the two pre-eminent creations of late Victorian fiction was a bit of a no-brainer. The Yin and Yang of the fin-de-siècle imagination – an epic face-off for the ages…

In the red, white and blue corner: Sherlock Holmes – arch-rationalist, buttoned-up, attractively flawed apotheosis of British pluck, doggedness, and all-round brilliance. Set against him, that epitome of lubricious, unchecked carnal desires: Dracula – the screaming antithesis of idealized Victorian manhood. Evil, hypersexualized, and downright foreign. It’s the ultimate Victorian superhero against the ultimate Victorian bogeyman. I mean, why wouldn’t you?

Holmes first appeared in 1887; Dracula 10 years later in 1897. Both characters achieved almost immediate superstar status – a dazzling supernova of global fame which has shown no sign of fading since. They are twin titans of popular culture, endlessly reimagined in movies, television, books, games and comics.

Both Arthur Conan Doyle and Bram Stoker achieved immortality of sorts thanks to their creations: a Scotsman and an Irishman giving life to two of the most famous, enduring, and built-upon characters in English fiction.

I have built upon them shamelessly in turn. It was fun bringing them together.

The Adventures of Dick Turpin

When Clemency Turnip’s Coffee House is closed down for ‘low morals’ and dealing in illicit liquor, her son Jack and serving-girl Polly Flinders find themselves out on the mean streets of 18th Century London and surviving on their wits. For Polly, it’s a path that may see her find her real parents. For Jack it’s a road to fame and notoriety as the land’s most celebrated highwayman!

Set in the colourful time of ‘Poldark’, ‘Tom Jones’ and Hogarth’s ‘Rake’s Progress’, this all-new pantomime adventure comes complete with outrageous Dame, girls dressed as boys, an audience participation song and every opportunity to boo the villains and cheer the heroes.

Will Turnip’s Coffee House be re-opened? Will moody and smouldering Woss Poldork regain the rights to his Cornish treacle mine? Will merchant banker Sir Beastlie Fugg get his deserved come-uppance? Will true love find its way?