Person: Kiera Ford

Beauty and The Beast – The Panto

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon’s Christmas 2018 production is an all-new, original pantomime based on the much-loved fairy tale, ‘Beauty and the Beast’. This classic tale, and its underlying message that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, has been transformed into a full-fat panto, rocket fuel for the winter season, chock-full of larger than life characters, sing-along songs and audience participation, as the lovely Beauty finds that the monstrous Beast is not what she was expecting. A full band and a large ensemble cast (Bumbling guards, saucy maids, talking vegetation and puppet creatures) support a tale of good versus the evil that is Deadly McNightshade, the woman who puts the wicked into witch and gives it a Scottish accent. Can true love break the dread spell that has locked a handsome prince in a prison he can never escape from? Oh yes it can!

But where did the original story come from? Well, once upon a time there was a woman called Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve (They had some cracking names back then) Born in Paris in 1685, she was married at 21 and widowed at 26, her aristocratic but spendthrift husband losing his life almost as swiftly as he lost their money. With her family fortune gone, she needed a way to support herself and eventually moved in with the celebrated playwright and poet Prosper Jolyot de Crebillon (See, another one!) where she began to write. From 1734 through to her death in 1755 she wrote novels and collections of fairy tales but most notably, in 1740, she wrote ‘La Belle et La Bête’, or as we know it, ‘Beauty and the Beast’. It formed part of a much larger story, and was much more complicated than we’re used to now. The simpler version is down to another Frenchwoman, Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont (and another!) who re-wrote the tale as a much shorter story and published it the year after Villeneuve’s death without acknowledging its origins. Which was a bit sneaky. Boo! Hiss!

Since then it’s become a children’s fairytale classic. Of course, that meant it got the full Disney treatment, twice now, both as a cartoon (1991) and a live-action movie (2017). But there have also been numerous other movie and TV adaptations, a stage musical, an opera, a ballet, and even songs, a disco tune and video games. Its themes of love conquering all and never judging by appearances are simple and easily relatable. And so Sheila May Bird, published children’s author (‘Pete’s Peculiar Petshop’, ‘Pirate Percy’s Parrot’ and others that don’t begin with the letter ‘P’) and long-time member of Theatre Workshop Coulsdon, decided that what had been missing all these years was a pantomime version, full of silliness, slapstick, songs, an audience participation number and the kind of ‘behind you!’ nonsense that makes going to the theatre at this time of year so much fun.

The Adventures of Jason and the Argonauts

The legends of Ancient Greece have continued to weave their magic through our imaginations for over two thousand years. The capricious Gods and Goddesses of Mount Olympus playing with the fates of ordinary mortals for both good and ill. But from the ranks of those mortals came the fabled heroes, those who rose to the challenges and won out despite all. Odysseus taking on the mighty one-eyed giant Cyclops. Theseus defeating the monstrous Minotaur in the labyrinth of Crete. Jason and his Argonauts travelling far and risking everything in search of the Golden Fleece.

This last provides the basis for our winter production. But don’t worry, you won’t need a degree in the classics to work out what’s going on. This is a very loose interpretation of the myths handed down over the centuries. Jason and Medea are two mixed-up kids, an orphan and a runaway, who suddenly find themselves tasked with overthrowing the evil tyrant King Pelias. With a certain amount of divine intervention, Jason becomes the captain of the mighty ‘Argo’, a ship capable of crossing the uncharted seas, with a crew of oddball heroes including the world’s strongest (and possibly clumsiest) man, a wonderful woman warrior, a resting rock star, the least identical twins ever and a seriously streetwise cat. Now he must set off and find the Golden Fleece. If only he knew what it was. And then there are the challenges. The man-eating Harpies of Lemnos, the terrible Clashing Rocks, the fire-breathing Great Bull of Colchis, the evil Dragon Snake and Talos, the bronze giant. (Who might just be a really cool sock puppet.) Not to mention The Sirens…

Medea, Jason and his misfit Argonauts are here this December to have fun. This will be no ordinary adventure tale, but one with songs and laughter, and we’ll be encouraging you to join in, whether you’re five or sixty five. Ever fancied rowing the Argo? You’ll get your chance. Become part of the undead army of skeleton warriors? Oh yes.

The award-winning author of ‘Jason and the Argonauts’, Phil Willmott, is mainly famous around these parts for his creation of the hilariously stiff upper-lipped ‘Dick Barton – Special Agent’ spoofs that were so much a part of the sadly demised Warehouse Theatre in Croydon. But he’s written, adapted and directed numerous productions, many derived from classical sources, and we’re more than pleased to link up with him again.

Sherlock Holmes and the Sons of Anubis

From the depths of ancient Egypt an ancient evil is rising, claiming the lives of those who have ransacked its history.

Is this a curse? An occult threat from which there is no defence? Or is there another side to this mystery, something more earthly yet just as deadly? What did Lord Caerphilly’s expedition to the Valley of the Kings disturb, and most importantly, how can it be stopped?

Richard Lloyd’s second exploration into the world of Arthur Conan Doyle’s most famous creation follows on from the success of ‘Sherlock Holmes and the Vampyres of London’, in which the legendary detective faced the iconic prince of darkness, Dracula. This time, as before, real and fictional characters of the period are combined in one fiendish mystery.

Holmes and his trusted companion Dr John Watson travel the streets of Victorian London, from the hallowed British Museum to the seedy brothels of London’s West End in search of the answer to a mystery that if unsolved, may see an empire fall. Which of its denizens may hold the vital clues? Lady Mountjoy, a woman whose most fervent desire is to see the treasures of the tombs returned? Agrippina Bligh, an unscrupulous Madam in a dark trade with darker secrets? The mysterious Egyptian Afzad Azul, who may as easily be allied with demons as angels?

Time is running out…

Animal Farm (2025)

All is not well on Manor Farm. The animals are neglected and abused by their drunken owner, and anger and a sense of injustice are growing. They dare to dream of taking their destinies into their own hooves, paws and claws. When man is gone, fairness and equality for all animals shall be the rule! Won’t it?

TWC’s Summer 2025 open air production is a new, fast-paced, occasionally frightening and sometimes bleakly comic adaptation of one of the most celebrated novels of the Twentieth Century – George Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm’.

An army of downtrodden farm animals rises up to overthrow their human oppressors. But their dream of a society where all animals are equal soon collides with the seductive allure of privilege and the corrupting nature of political power. Orwell’s famous fable – a brilliant satire on the Russian revolution and the rise of Stalin – is a gripping tale of rebellion, heroism and ultimate betrayal. The writing is on the wall – literally:

ALL ANIMALS ARE EQUAL, BUT SOME ANIMALS ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS

Wendy and Peter Pan

‘Second star to the right, and straight on till morning!’

This Christmas, we’re delighted to present the perfect festive treat for all the family – the classic English childhood myth of love, loss, redemption – and pirates.

And Peter Pan, who never grows old. What’s not to like?

Winter, 1911. Snow is falling across London. Wendy Darling and her brothers sleep peacefully in their bedroom as their parents bicker downstairs. In a sudden flurry of snow their window blows open, and Peter Pan tumbles into their lives – followed by a fractious fairy called Tink. With the help of a little fairy dust, Wendy agrees to fly with Peter to Neverland, seeking an awfully big adventure and the key to her parents’ forgotten happiness – the child they once lost. Once there, Wendy will give the Lost Boys a run for their money, defeat the diabolical pirate Captain James Hook, and ultimately learn what it really means to grow up.

J.M.Barrie’s stage play, Peter Pan, delighted audiences when it premiered in 1904. His novel based on the play, Wendy and Peter, published in 1911, was a huge success. Commissioned by the Royal Shakespeare Company, Ella Hickson’s Wendy and Peter Pan premiered in December 2013, and it’s a sparkling new adaptation that puts Wendy centre stage. In a feisty take on Barrie’s much-loved tale, it never loses the charm of the original, nor any of its iconic set pieces.
It’s bittersweet, funny in places, touching in others, and brimming with action and adventure. Complete with musical accompaniment by our live band, plus our famous Christmas refreshments. It might be cold outside, but the mince pies and mulled wine will be piping hot!

Henry V

 Cry God For Harry, England and St George!

This tale of a young man finding his way to be King through a baptism of bloody war against the French is surely the most bold and stirring of Shakespeare’s histories. From his first forays at diplomacy to his nervous attempts to win the heart of a princess, Henry, a one-time rogue more used to the company of thieves than the ways of court, finds that his responsibilities outweigh the power he now wields. And that victory, even a glorious victory on the fields of Agincourt, comes at no small price…
‘Henry V’ sees Theatre Workshop Coulsdon return to grounds of Coulsdon Manor Hotel for their tenth season, following on from previous successes with ‘Wind in the Willows’, ‘Dick Barton and the Slaves of the Sultan’, ‘Much Ado about Nothing’, ‘The Canterbury Tales’ and ‘A Midsummer’s Night Dream’. This show will be no less colourful and entertaining.
With a BBQ and bar set under the gently setting sun and summer stars, this is open-air theatre at its finest.

Sherlock Holmes and the Vampyres of London

London 1887. When the mortal remains of a young aristocrat vanish in the dead of night from Brompton Necropolis, Sherlock Holmes is no sooner asked to investigate than a second mystery presents itself – a beautiful young heiress afflicted by unaccountable night terrors; her vitality slipping away.

As these two strange cases resolve themselves into one, Holmes and his steadfast companion, Dr. John Watson, are plunged into a hidden London of grave-robbing grotesques, murderous Szgany gypsies, and demonic possession that obscures a diabolical conspiracy to overthrow the Crown itself.

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon’s thrilling homage to late Victorian gothic pits two of fiction’s most enduring characters against each other. But in the fog-shrouded metropolis where nothing is what it seems, which towering colossus of literary legend will triumph in this savage, epochal battle of wits?

From the author:

Indulging an occasional impulse to put something dark on stage, when ‘Sherlock Holmes and the Vampyres of London’ slid into my head, I thought I’d hit upon an original idea. Ah well. Ten minutes on Google laid bare an entire sub-culture of Holmes vs. Dracula novels, comics and essays. I guess bringing together the two pre-eminent creations of late Victorian fiction was a bit of a no-brainer. The Yin and Yang of the fin-de-siècle imagination – an epic face-off for the ages…

In the red, white and blue corner: Sherlock Holmes – arch-rationalist, buttoned-up, attractively flawed apotheosis of British pluck, doggedness, and all-round brilliance. Set against him, that epitome of lubricious, unchecked carnal desires: Dracula – the screaming antithesis of idealized Victorian manhood. Evil, hypersexualized, and downright foreign. It’s the ultimate Victorian superhero against the ultimate Victorian bogeyman. I mean, why wouldn’t you?

Holmes first appeared in 1887; Dracula 10 years later in 1897. Both characters achieved almost immediate superstar status – a dazzling supernova of global fame which has shown no sign of fading since. They are twin titans of popular culture, endlessly reimagined in movies, television, books, games and comics.

Both Arthur Conan Doyle and Bram Stoker achieved immortality of sorts thanks to their creations: a Scotsman and an Irishman giving life to two of the most famous, enduring, and built-upon characters in English fiction.

I have built upon them shamelessly in turn. It was fun bringing them together.

 

The Adventures of Dick Turpin

When Clemency Turnip’s Coffee House is closed down for ‘low morals’ and dealing in illicit liquor, her son Jack and serving-girl Polly Flinders find themselves out on the mean streets of 18th Century London and surviving on their wits. For Polly, it’s a path that may see her find her real parents. For Jack it’s a road to fame and notoriety as the land’s most celebrated highwayman!

Set in the colourful time of ‘Poldark’, ‘Tom Jones’ and Hogarth’s ‘Rake’s Progress’, this all-new pantomime adventure comes complete with outrageous Dame, girls dressed as boys, an audience participation song and every opportunity to boo the villains and cheer the heroes.

Will Turnip’s Coffee House be re-opened? Will moody and smouldering Woss Poldork regain the rights to his Cornish treacle mine? Will merchant banker Sir Beastlie Fugg get his deserved come-uppance? Will true love find its way?

 

The Ladykillers

When Mrs Wilberforce puts an advert in the local newsagent’s window to rent out her guest bedrooms, the last thing she expects is to be overrun by a group of enthusiastic, if eccentric, amateur musicians. But despite the constant sound of a string quartet filling the house, Professor Marcus and his friends The Major, Harry, Louis and ‘One-Round’ are not what they seem, and soon she finds herself dragged into the Professor’s scheme to pull off a violent robbery. With the police unaware, only Mrs Wilberforce and her parrot, General Gordon, stand between the five desperate criminals and their ill-gotten £200,000.

Will she see justice done? Or will they keep the ‘old girl’ quiet…permanently?

Who will be forced to face the music?

November 1956. It’s over 11 years since the end of the Second World War and Britain is still coming to terms with its new position in the world. The Empire is no more, and in an attempt to restore some national pride and underline an intent to remain a major player on the global stage, Prime Minister Anthony Eden is about to launch an invasion of Egypt to recover the Suez Canal. At home, the rationing introduced in 1939 only finished a year ago, and our austerity struck country still bears the scars of the war it supposedly won, with large sections of blitz-hit London remaining derelict. But the mood is upbeat. The early strains of rock ‘n’ roll are filtering across the Atlantic and with that, the seeds of teenage ‘rebellion’. James Dean and Marilyn Monroe, Rock Hudson, Doris Day and Yul Brynner are the Hollywood stars of the day. An 18 year old Bobby Charlton scored on his debut for Manchester United just three weeks ago and the Melbourne Summer Olympics start later this month.

This is the world of The Ladykillers.

Originally a film made by Ealing Studios and released in 1955, it starred Alec Guinness as ‘Professor’ Marcus, with a young Peter Sellers as Harry and Herbert Lom as Louis.  A largely unsuccessful remake starring Tom Hanks as Marcus, with the action moved to Mississippi, came out in 2004. Graham Linehan, who had already been successful in writing for television with such programmes as ‘Father Ted, ‘Black Books’ and ‘The IT Crowd’ wrote this theatre adaptation in 2011, and after debuting in Liverpool, the production went on to a successful and extended run at the Gielgud Theatre in London’s West End starring Peter Capaldi as ‘Professor’Marcus.

Interestingly, there is a theory that the story of The Ladykillers is more than simply a black comedy, and holds a mirror up to the times it was set in. Thus Mrs Wilberforce is the embodiment of Britannia, an aging defender of proper British values, while her house is the Empire, ramshackle and falling apart, full of the memories of one-time glories now faded. Arrayed against her are the con-man ‘Major’ representing the British ruling classes, with pill-popping wide-boy Harry as dissolute youth, punch-drunk ‘One-Round’ as the oafish masses and knife-wielding Louis the dangerous immigrant. Where ‘Professor’ Marcus fits in, the theory doesn’t say. Perhaps he represents intellectuals, pseudo-intellectuals, academics or even politicians. You can make up your own mind.

Graham Linehan sees it as demonstrating that even the worst of men have a little good in them…and that it is this that ultimately dooms them.Whatever its deeper meanings, if it has them, The Ladykillers is a classic black comedy. Enjoy.