Michelle Tomas – Theatre Workshop Coulsdon

The Sweet Science of Bruising

Victorian London, 1869. The shadowy world of female boxing provides the opportunity for four very different women to break away from the lives that have been ordained for them by society.

Polly Stokes is a fighter, has been ever since she was abandoned on a doorstep as a babe. Irish-born Mattie Blackwell lives on the streets, her life a constant battle to survive. Violet Hunter wants to be a doctor but no man will let her, and Anna Lamb seems to have it all, a husband, children, a house, servants… but in truth, she has nothing.

Held in by corsets, held back by men, the violent release they find in the boxing ring brings them a form of freedom they’ve never known, but at the final bell, there can only be one Lady Boxing Champion of the World.

An epic tale of passion, power, politics and pugilism from the pen of Joy Wilkinson and performed with verve by TWC.

Burnley-born Joy Wilkinson is an accomplished and prize-winning author who has written several plays (Now is the Time, Fair and Britain’s Best Recruiting Sergeant among others), plus numerous TV and film scripts covering a range from sci-fi/fantasy such as Doctor Who and Lockwood & Co. through to thrilling dramas Suspect and The Pact, via Holby City, Casualty and Land Girls.

The Canterbury Tales (2011)

It is the 14th Century, and in the bustling courtyard of The Tabard Inn, Southwark, men and women from all walks of life gather for a pilgrimage to the cathedral at Canterbury. Friars and priests, pardoners and summoners, millers and good wives. In order to entertain these good folk, the host of the inn asks that each traveller tells a story as they make their way across Kent. And so they, and we, begin our journey.

In this joyous adaptation of Geoffrey Chaucer’s classic work by Richard Lloyd, Theatre Workshop Coulsdon present six of the best and most colourful tales, creating an exuberant and and often hilarious portrait of ordinary folk preoccupied with petty jealousies, mundane squabbles and simple pleasures. Bold and often bawdy, these tales bring home vividly just how little the English people have really changed over the last six hundred years!

The stories presented are The Nun’s Priest’s Tale, The Wife of Bath’s Tale, The Friar’s Tale, The Pardoner’s Tale, The Miller’s Tale and The Reeves Tale, neatly wrapped in an engaging background as host and landlord Harry Bailey attempts to maintain order amongst his boisterous and often wayward charges.

Chaucer (1343 – 1400) is widely considered to be the greatest English poet of the Middle Ages, and was the first poet to be buried in Poet’s Corner at Westminster Abbey. While he achieved fame during his lifetime as an author, philosopher, alchemist and astronomer, Chaucer also maintained an active career in the civil service as a bureaucrat, diplomat and courtier. His many works include ‘The Book of the Duchess’, ‘The House of Fame’, ‘The Legend of Good Women’ and ‘Troilus and Criseyde’, but it is ‘The Canterbury Tales’, in which he uses the tales to paint an ironic and critical picture of English society, for which he will always be remembered.

Much Ado About Nothing (2015)

The path of true love proves to be anything but smooth for not one but two sets of star-crossed lovers in ‘Much Ado About Nothing’, one of Shakespeare’s most romantic, yet comedic tales. For young Claudio and his lady Hero, their happiness is threatened by the Machiavellian scheming of the plain-dealing villain, Don John. For self-professed lifelong batchelor Benedict and the independently minded and sharp-tongued Beatrice, the biggest obstacles are…themselves!

By turns funny, touching, heart-breaking and hilarious, ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ is the perfect way to spend an English Summer evening.

Leonato, a kindly, respectable nobleman, lives in the Italian town of Messina. He shares his villa with his lovely young daughter, Hero, his clever but cynical niece, Beatrice, and his elderly brother, Antonio. As the play begins, Leonato prepares to welcome his good friend, Don Pedro, home from war. Don Pedro, a prince, is accompanied by two friends and fellow soldiers: Claudio, a well-respected young nobleman, and Benedick, a joker who delights in teasing his colleagues. With them too comes Don John, Don Pedro’s illegitimate brother, a sullen, spiteful individual who resents others’ happiness.

After the soldiers arrive, Claudio swiftly falls in love with Hero, while Benedick and Beatrice resume the war of words that they have carried on with each other for years. Claudio and Hero pledge their love to one another and decide to be married. But to pass the days before the wedding, the lovers and their friends decide to trick Beatrice and Benedick, who are obviously meant for each other, into falling in love.

However, Don John intends to spoil everything. He plots with his followers Borachio and Conrade to ruin Hero’s reputation. And taken in by the treacherous scheme, an enraged Claudio humiliates Hero at the wedding by accusing her of lechery and abandoning her at the altar. Horrified, Hero’s family pretend that she has died of shock and grief and hide her away. Fortunately, a passing watch patrol overhear Borachio drunkenly bragging about his misdeeds to Conrade. Dogberry and Verges, the bumbling heads of the local watch, eventually arrest them and drag them in front of the local magistrate, Leonato. The truth of Don John’s plot is thus revealed, and Claudio and Don Pedro, who believe Hero is dead, are grief stricken.

Leonato tells Claudio that, as a penance for his misjudgement, he must marry his brother Antonio’s daughter — a girl who, he says, looks much like the dead Hero. Claudio goes to church with the others, solemnly prepared to do his duty and marry the mysterious, masked woman he finds there. But when the masked woman reveals herself to be Hero, Claudio is overwhelmed with joy and all is forgiven.

Benedick then asks Beatrice if she will marry him, and after some verbal sparring, she agrees. The joyful lovers then celebrate with a double wedding as Don John, who had attempted to escape, is dragged back to face his half-brother’s justice.

Beauty and The Beast – The Panto

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon’s Christmas 2018 production is an all-new, original pantomime based on the much-loved fairy tale, ‘Beauty and the Beast’. This classic tale, and its underlying message that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, has been transformed into a full-fat panto, rocket fuel for the winter season, chock-full of larger than life characters, sing-along songs and audience participation, as the lovely Beauty finds that the monstrous Beast is not what she was expecting. A full band and a large ensemble cast (Bumbling guards, saucy maids, talking vegetation and puppet creatures) support a tale of good versus the evil that is Deadly McNightshade, the woman who puts the wicked into witch and gives it a Scottish accent. Can true love break the dread spell that has locked a handsome prince in a prison he can never escape from? Oh yes it can!

But where did the original story come from? Well, once upon a time there was a woman called Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve (They had some cracking names back then) Born in Paris in 1685, she was married at 21 and widowed at 26, her aristocratic but spendthrift husband losing his life almost as swiftly as he lost their money. With her family fortune gone, she needed a way to support herself and eventually moved in with the celebrated playwright and poet Prosper Jolyot de Crebillon (See, another one!) where she began to write. From 1734 through to her death in 1755 she wrote novels and collections of fairy tales but most notably, in 1740, she wrote ‘La Belle et La Bête’, or as we know it, ‘Beauty and the Beast’. It formed part of a much larger story, and was much more complicated than we’re used to now. The simpler version is down to another Frenchwoman, Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont (and another!) who re-wrote the tale as a much shorter story and published it the year after Villeneuve’s death without acknowledging its origins. Which was a bit sneaky. Boo! Hiss!

Since then it’s become a children’s fairytale classic. Of course, that meant it got the full Disney treatment, twice now, both as a cartoon (1991) and a live-action movie (2017). But there have also been numerous other movie and TV adaptations, a stage musical, an opera, a ballet, and even songs, a disco tune and video games. Its themes of love conquering all and never judging by appearances are simple and easily relatable. And so Sheila May Bird, published children’s author (‘Pete’s Peculiar Petshop’, ‘Pirate Percy’s Parrot’ and others that don’t begin with the letter ‘P’) and long-time member of Theatre Workshop Coulsdon, decided that what had been missing all these years was a pantomime version, full of silliness, slapstick, songs, an audience participation number and the kind of ‘behind you!’ nonsense that makes going to the theatre at this time of year so much fun.

Sherlock Holmes and the Sons of Anubis

From the depths of ancient Egypt an ancient evil is rising, claiming the lives of those who have ransacked its history.

Is this a curse? An occult threat from which there is no defence? Or is there another side to this mystery, something more earthly yet just as deadly? What did Lord Caerphilly’s expedition to the Valley of the Kings disturb, and most importantly, how can it be stopped?

Richard Lloyd’s second exploration into the world of Arthur Conan Doyle’s most famous creation follows on from the success of ‘Sherlock Holmes and the Vampyres of London’, in which the legendary detective faced the iconic prince of darkness, Dracula. This time, as before, real and fictional characters of the period are combined in one fiendish mystery.

Holmes and his trusted companion Dr John Watson travel the streets of Victorian London, from the hallowed British Museum to the seedy brothels of London’s West End in search of the answer to a mystery that if unsolved, may see an empire fall. Which of its denizens may hold the vital clues? Lady Mountjoy, a woman whose most fervent desire is to see the treasures of the tombs returned? Agrippina Bligh, an unscrupulous Madam in a dark trade with darker secrets? The mysterious Egyptian Afzad Azul, who may as easily be allied with demons as angels?

Time is running out…

Reginald Rare – Rocketeer Extraordinaire

‘Reginald Rare – Rocketeer Extraordinaire’, is an affectionate spoof on the classic sci-fi comic strip, ‘Dan Dare – Pilot of the Future’, as created by illustrator Frank Hampson and appeared in the ‘Eagle’ from 1950 through to 1967.

In 1945, WW2 Spitfire ace Squadron Leader Reginald Rare is shot down while on a top secret mission over Germany by a experimental Nazi freeze ray. Awakening after decades of cryogenic suspension, Reg finds himself in the far-flung year 2015, and a world quite unlike his own. Countries and borders are gone, merged into one united World Government. Women and men are equals. Poverty has been eradicated. But the Earth is under threat from the Venereans – fiendish alien overlords of Venus. They’re using a powerful heat ray to cause global warming, and once they’ve destroyed life on Earth, the dastardly Venereans will occupy it as their new home! The trouble is, that Earth gave up war decades ago, and no longer knows how to fight. The newly-promoted head of the armed forces can’t even tell the difference between a set of bagpipes and an instrument of torture! (Hmmm.)

As the only man in the world with combat experience, bravery and a natural air of command unsullied by knowledge or common sense, Reg – a man out of his time in so many ways – is immediately recruited by the Earth’s government to lead a mission to Venus to carry the fight to the enemy. Accompanied by a hand-picked crew of assorted misfits and weirdos (‘Oily’ Wragg, the chief engineer, Bruce McKenzie the Xenobiologist and Giuseppe Bernatelli, the weapons specialist – sorry, chef, as well as the entirely delectable but decidedly feisty physicist and astrogator Dr Mary Honeydew) – Reg heads for Venus in his brand-new untried rocket ship, with a brand-new untried weapon, to give those alien fiends what for! And save the world, obviously. What could possibly go wrong?

Spiffing adventures ensue, by turns comical and thrilling, in a fast moving yet knowing homage to the lantern-jawed sci-fi hero of yesteryear, written by Sean Young and now brought joyously to life on stage.

Special mention to director Pete Bird who with only a couple of weeks to go, had to step in and play Bruce McKenzie after Joe Wilson had fallen ill with appendicitis!

Orca

Midsummer. On an isolated Atlantic island, the community prepares to enact their hallowed annual ritual. The village must choose a new ‘Daughter’ to sail with the boats and bless the fishing grounds. Keeping them safe from the roaming pods orcas for another year. Fan hopes with all her heart to be chosen. But her older sister Maggie says she must never, never go with the boats. Because Maggie swears that something happened to her out there, but no-one will admit it. No-one will even talk about it. And no-one, not even Fan, believes her.

What the papers have said about ‘Orca’:

‘A world as soaked in myth and ritual as it is with salt water’.

‘Jaws meets The Wicker Man’.

‘An unnerving play about mythical ritual sacrifice that acts as a metaphor for the present’.

‘A gut-chilling reminder that the smallest communities have room for danger, and that often the biggest risks come not from nature, but from the people who claim to want to keep you safe’.

Winner of the 2016 Papatango New Writing Prize, ‘Orca’ is a dark, intense and thrilling piece of theatre – an unflinching insight into what makes a community tolerate the unthinkable.

If you enjoyed our 2023 production of ‘Machinal’ – another pitch dark and compelling play – we think you’ll love ‘Orca’.

Please note this play contains adult themes, strong language and portrayal of violence. We’d suggest it’s not suitable for children under the age of 16 – subject to parental guidance.

Accidental Death of an Anarchist

Dario Fo’s dark comedy was based on the real life events in the aftermath of a terrorist bombing in Milan. While in custody, one of the suspects, ultimately found to be innocent, ‘fell’ from a window on the fourth floor of the police station.

In this new adaptation by Tom Basden, he shifts the spotlight from 1970s Milan to London and today’s Metropolitan Police, which in recent years has staggered from crisis to crisis, with incidents and allegations of inappropriate behaviour, abuse of power, racism and misogyny, all too frequently covered up or brushed under the carpet.

The coppers in the show no doubt believe that what they’re doing is right, or at least that their possibly dubious actions are defensible, under the circumstances. Honest, guv. The maniac, our main protagonist, is out to get to the truth or something close to the truth, and on the way show the complete absurdity of the situation. The play, is, first and foremost, a farce, fast-moving, funny and frantic. You’ll find yourself laughing out loud, and then later, thinking about why…

Please note this play does include some use of strong adult language. Parents may deem it unsuitable for younger children.

Grimm Tales (2022)

Dare you go down to the woods today?

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon has adapted ten of the most famous tales from the Brothers Grimm into a single play. By turns magical, terrifying comic and profound, our ‘Grimm Tales’ is a festive theatrical treat for all the family (well, almost), delving as deep as the dwarves into a rich dark seam of lost European folklore.

The tales we’ve included, from ‘Hansel and Gretel’ to ‘Little Red Cap’, ‘Snow White’ and ‘Rumpelstiltskin’, are stripped back to their origins, freed from layers of Victorian prudery and Disney schmaltz, revealing the simple, undiluted truths of these ancient stories. Often funny, sometimes brutal, occasionally touching – they’re familiar yet strange, like something you’ve always known, but are only now seeing them for the first time.

Some of them include some old-fashioned fairy tale revenge, mayhem and a modest amount of gore. In other words, just the kind of things that generations of kids have grown up loving! That said, it’s probably not really suitable for toddlers and the very young. Or those of a particularly nervous disposition.

So join us on a journey to the dark heart of the forest. It all starts with ‘Once upon a time…’

About the Brothers Grimm

The root of all theatre is storytelling. Our performance of ‘Grimm Tales’ is based on some of the best-known stories of Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm – those avid collectors of folk tales from across the German-speaking lands of central Europe.

The brothers grew up in the late Eighteenth Century – the flowering of the period of European Romanticism. The German romantics sought Der Volkseele or ‘folk-psyche’, and returned to the folksongs, ballads, and folk tales of earlier centuries to find it. The simplicity and truth of these folk traditions, despised by the highbrow thinkers of the Enlightenment, suddenly acquired a new value. They pointed to a rich, oral, pan-Germanic cultural legacy.

This quest for a distinctive German identity was given huge impetus in the early Nineteenth Century, when the patchwork of German states, great and small, had been laid waste by Napoleon, and all things German had been crushed under the ascendancy of all things French. For the Grimms, collecting old stories from across the German-speaking lands, became a mission to reinvent a distinctive German culture. Der Volkseele would reinvigorate and bind together the disparate peoples and states of the German nation – culturally, if not politically. In this, the work of the Brothers Grimm foreshadowed German unification, which followed in 1870.

The brothers travelled all over Europe to collect their tales, from the Baltics to Bohemia, Switzerland to Schleswig-Holstein, hoovering up every scrap and morsel of part-remembered fable, coaxed from nobleman and peasant alike. They transcribed these contributions as faithfully as possible, binding in authentic bits of nonsense, dialect words, old sayings, arcane rhymes and doggerel, just as they had been told to them.

In their devoted search for origins, the brothers invented the modern science of folklorism. By the 1850s they’d published seven editions of their two volumes of collected tales. By the end of the Nineteenth century, their 200 or so tales had been translated so widely that they were renowned around the world. Today, they remain the most popular and famous collection of folk stories in the Western world.

Wendy and Peter Pan

‘Second star to the right, and straight on till morning!’

This Christmas, we’re delighted to present the perfect festive treat for all the family – the classic English childhood myth of love, loss, redemption – and pirates.

And Peter Pan, who never grows old. What’s not to like?

Winter, 1911. Snow is falling across London. Wendy Darling and her brothers sleep peacefully in their bedroom as their parents bicker downstairs. In a sudden flurry of snow their window blows open, and Peter Pan tumbles into their lives – followed by a fractious fairy called Tink. With the help of a little fairy dust, Wendy agrees to fly with Peter to Neverland, seeking an awfully big adventure and the key to her parents’ forgotten happiness – the child they once lost. Once there, Wendy will give the Lost Boys a run for their money, defeat the diabolical pirate Captain James Hook, and ultimately learn what it really means to grow up.

J.M.Barrie’s stage play, Peter Pan, delighted audiences when it premiered in 1904. His novel based on the play, Wendy and Peter, published in 1911, was a huge success. Commissioned by the Royal Shakespeare Company, Ella Hickson’s Wendy and Peter Pan premiered in December 2013, and it’s a sparkling new adaptation that puts Wendy centre stage. In a feisty take on Barrie’s much-loved tale, it never loses the charm of the original, nor any of its iconic set pieces.
It’s bittersweet, funny in places, touching in others, and brimming with action and adventure. Complete with musical accompaniment by our live band, plus our famous Christmas refreshments. It might be cold outside, but the mince pies and mulled wine will be piping hot!