Person: Ryan Newby

Beauty and The Beast – The Panto

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon’s Christmas 2018 production is an all-new, original pantomime based on the much-loved fairy tale, ‘Beauty and the Beast’. This classic tale, and its underlying message that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, has been transformed into a full-fat panto, rocket fuel for the winter season, chock-full of larger than life characters, sing-along songs and audience participation, as the lovely Beauty finds that the monstrous Beast is not what she was expecting. A full band and a large ensemble cast (Bumbling guards, saucy maids, talking vegetation and puppet creatures) support a tale of good versus the evil that is Deadly McNightshade, the woman who puts the wicked into witch and gives it a Scottish accent. Can true love break the dread spell that has locked a handsome prince in a prison he can never escape from? Oh yes it can!

But where did the original story come from? Well, once upon a time there was a woman called Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve (They had some cracking names back then) Born in Paris in 1685, she was married at 21 and widowed at 26, her aristocratic but spendthrift husband losing his life almost as swiftly as he lost their money. With her family fortune gone, she needed a way to support herself and eventually moved in with the celebrated playwright and poet Prosper Jolyot de Crebillon (See, another one!) where she began to write. From 1734 through to her death in 1755 she wrote novels and collections of fairy tales but most notably, in 1740, she wrote ‘La Belle et La Bête’, or as we know it, ‘Beauty and the Beast’. It formed part of a much larger story, and was much more complicated than we’re used to now. The simpler version is down to another Frenchwoman, Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont (and another!) who re-wrote the tale as a much shorter story and published it the year after Villeneuve’s death without acknowledging its origins. Which was a bit sneaky. Boo! Hiss!

Since then it’s become a children’s fairytale classic. Of course, that meant it got the full Disney treatment, twice now, both as a cartoon (1991) and a live-action movie (2017). But there have also been numerous other movie and TV adaptations, a stage musical, an opera, a ballet, and even songs, a disco tune and video games. Its themes of love conquering all and never judging by appearances are simple and easily relatable. And so Sheila May Bird, published children’s author (‘Pete’s Peculiar Petshop’, ‘Pirate Percy’s Parrot’ and others that don’t begin with the letter ‘P’) and long-time member of Theatre Workshop Coulsdon, decided that what had been missing all these years was a pantomime version, full of silliness, slapstick, songs, an audience participation number and the kind of ‘behind you!’ nonsense that makes going to the theatre at this time of year so much fun.

The Adventures of Jason and the Argonauts

The legends of Ancient Greece have continued to weave their magic through our imaginations for over two thousand years. The capricious Gods and Goddesses of Mount Olympus playing with the fates of ordinary mortals for both good and ill. But from the ranks of those mortals came the fabled heroes, those who rose to the challenges and won out despite all. Odysseus taking on the mighty one-eyed giant Cyclops. Theseus defeating the monstrous Minotaur in the labyrinth of Crete. Jason and his Argonauts travelling far and risking everything in search of the Golden Fleece.

This last provides the basis for our winter production. But don’t worry, you won’t need a degree in the classics to work out what’s going on. This is a very loose interpretation of the myths handed down over the centuries. Jason and Medea are two mixed-up kids, an orphan and a runaway, who suddenly find themselves tasked with overthrowing the evil tyrant King Pelias. With a certain amount of divine intervention, Jason becomes the captain of the mighty ‘Argo’, a ship capable of crossing the uncharted seas, with a crew of oddball heroes including the world’s strongest (and possibly clumsiest) man, a wonderful woman warrior, a resting rock star, the least identical twins ever and a seriously streetwise cat. Now he must set off and find the Golden Fleece. If only he knew what it was. And then there are the challenges. The man-eating Harpies of Lemnos, the terrible Clashing Rocks, the fire-breathing Great Bull of Colchis, the evil Dragon Snake and Talos, the bronze giant. (Who might just be a really cool sock puppet.) Not to mention The Sirens…

Medea, Jason and his misfit Argonauts are here this December to have fun. This will be no ordinary adventure tale, but one with songs and laughter, and we’ll be encouraging you to join in, whether you’re five or sixty five. Ever fancied rowing the Argo? You’ll get your chance. Become part of the undead army of skeleton warriors? Oh yes.

The award-winning author of ‘Jason and the Argonauts’, Phil Willmott, is mainly famous around these parts for his creation of the hilariously stiff upper-lipped ‘Dick Barton – Special Agent’ spoofs that were so much a part of the sadly demised Warehouse Theatre in Croydon. But he’s written, adapted and directed numerous productions, many derived from classical sources, and we’re more than pleased to link up with him again.

Radio Days – The Golden Age of Wireless

 

This year marks the 70th anniversary of the launch of the BBC’s Light Programme in 1945, which went on to provide such iconic entertainment throughout the late 1940’s and 50’s. With just the spoken word, some music and a few choice sound effects, the listener could be transported anywhere. All they needed was a little imagination. Adventure tales such as ‘Dick Barton – Special Agent’ and ‘Journey into Space’, comedy from ‘The Goons’ and ‘Hancock’s Half Hour’ and serials like ‘The Archers’ attracted millions of listeners.

As a tribute to those classic shows, we’ve put together an evening of light entertainment using the same principles. Some drama, some comedy, all linked together with music from the period.  And this format has given us an excellent platform to showcase some of TWC’s newer and/or previously untapped talents. The show has been written or adapted, with two small exceptions, by ourselves. For Joe Wilson and Sean Young it’s the first time they’ll have seen something they’ve written come to life on stage.  They’ve directed them too.  And it may be their first writing, but it won’t be their last.

So tune in to Theatre Workshop Coulsdon this March, and be transported back to a time when a young Princess Elizabeth was about to become Queen, the British Empire still covered the pages of your school atlas in pink, Dan Dare was the pilot of the future, and Dick Barton was Britain’s finest secret agent. In the post-war years, before the real coming of television, families would gather around the wireless to be informed, educated and above all, entertained. A magic combination of sound, music, voice and a sense of wonder spirited the listening nation to far-off lands, distant times or sometimes just around the corner. Bold adventure and stirring drama rubbed shoulders with surreal comedy. TWC’s ‘Radio Days’ is an affectionate recreation of those golden years of British radio, showcasing a series of short plays evoking the atmosphere of those times, with live music and live sound effects. An evening of laughter, songs and suspense*. Come along, and bring your imagination with you…

*See the Radio Times for details (a pre-1957 edition that is).

‘Slaves of the Sultan’ by Richard Lloyd

‘Wrong Number’ adapted by Paul M Ford from a script by Don Negri

‘The Night Mail’ by W H Auden

‘The Crossroads’ adapted by Richard Lloyd from an original US Radio script

‘Reginald Rare – Rocketeer Extraordinaire! (In the 21st Century)’ by Sean Young

Agatha Christie’s ‘The Lamp’ adapted by Paul M Ford from a 1933 short story

‘Murder at Monford Manor – A Harrison Harrison Mystery’ by Joe Wilson

‘The Weather Forecast’ by Les Barker

The Producers

 

The Producers was Mel Brooks’ first ever movie back in 1968. Starring Zero Mostel as Max and Gene Wilder as Leo, it became both a cult and a commercial success, and Brooks even picked up an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. An improbable hit as a movie, it was an even less likely one as a Broadway musical, which Brooks did in 2001. A byword for tongue-in-cheek bad taste, it became the most successful Broadway show of all time, winning a record breaking 12 Tony awards and running for more than 2,500 performances over six years. And then art imitated art, as a movie of the musical based on a movie came out in 2005, starring Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick and Uma Thurman.

Born into a German Jewish family who fled the Nazis in the 1930’s, Mel Brooks was uniquely qualified to poke merciless fun at the Third Reich. Frankly, it’s impossible to believe that anyone without his background could have got away with it. Then again, the whole premise of a couple of Jewish con-men staging a sure-fire Broadway flop based on a camp musical about Adolf Hitler is so absurd, it would be difficult for anyone to take genuine offence. Besides, Brooks has many targets for his satire in The Producers – not least the whole shallow pretentious ‘bubble’ of Broadway itself. (Which is rather ironic, as it turns out, given the huge success of the show.)

The Producers is an extraordinary musical. Set in New York in 1959, the one-time ‘King of Broadway’, Max Bialystock, sees his latest show ‘Funny Boy’ close after just one night. Down and out, dependent on playing the aging lothario to wealthy but very elderly spinsters and widows, Max is thrown a lifeline back to success and the high life in the unlikely form of timorous accountant, Leo Bloom. Bloom discovers that a flop show can make more money than a hit, and so the two set out to lie, cheat and schmooze their way to a million bucks by staging a sure-fire Broadway flop – the worst taste musical ever written: ‘Springtime For Hitler’. The rest is showbiz history. Bursting with laugh-out-loud jokes and outrageously funny musical numbers, The Producers is pure, unadulterated joy.

Now it’s fair to say that Theatre Workshop Coulsdon are not, first and foremost, a musical group. But we do like projects that are a bit unexpected. So we’ve rescued ‘The Producers’ from the cold dead clutches of of the light-operatic am-dram circuit, and given it the down-and-dirty TWC makeover it deserves. We aren’t dancers, we aren’t singers. We don’t have the required 37-piece orchestra. But we do have a bunch of talented musicians and chutzpah to spare, and what could be more in keeping with the spirit of Mel Brooks than that? We hope you enjoy the show!

 

The Whispering Wood

Welcome to the Whispering Wood.

In our performance tonight, it’s a clearing where two bands of roving actors meet, and find themselves competing to tell the best tale. In real life, it reflects an age-old English tradition of travelling theatre that we’ve supported for the last twenty years, entertaining people from Coulsdon and beyond with our open air productions. This isn’t the first time we’ve performed folk and fairy-tale based plays, having previously stage ‘Grimm Tales’ in 2003 and ‘More Grimm Tales’ in 2006. But many of tonight’s stories will probably be less familiar to you. Our author, Lucy-Ann Martin, has always been fascinated by folk tales, and she spent a year reading several hundred of them from cultures all over the globe, while travelling the world herself. She then collected her favourites and ended up with more than sixty possible tales to included in a performance. We’ve whittled these down to the final dozen or so stories that we’ll perform for you this evening. They come from all over the planet. Some are many hundreds of years old, some are far more recent, but what is amazing is just how universal the themes are.

Storytelling is a skill and a challenge we relish, and the perfect way (we thought!) to make sure the production was truly innovative was to arrange the telling of the tales as being part of a competition. The Great North Players taking on the Little Sackville Players, each trying their utmost to amuse and entertain you and ultimately gain your favour. A vote for whichever group of players did best will take place at the end of the evening, and you, the audience, will decide the outcome!

First a few thanks though. To Jeannie Lewis, who has for the second year running led the choice and arrangement of all the live music you’ll hear tonight. She and her husband Keith will be playing live at every performance, along with Simeon Dawes and Ryan Newby, just as musicians would have done in times long past. Thanks too for Jenny Moorcroft who designed the programme for us. And finally thanks to you, the audience, for coming and supporting us. Every play is a contract between the audience and the actors, this one a little more explicitly than most, perhaps. And we sincerely hope you enjoy it!

 

Twelfth Night – The Panto

We’re sticking to a Shakespearean theme for Christmas, with another original TWC panto, this time based (very loosely) on “Twelfth Night”, but with added slapstick, men dressed as women (dressed as men), “oh no it isn’t”, and “oh yes it is”. It’s a riotously funny pantomime full of unexpected twists and turns. Forget Illyria – a freak storm blows a day-trip to Boulogne way off course. Six months later it’s shipwrecked on the coast of Australia. Auntie Podees and her niece, Sheila, have to find work disguised as men to earn their passage back to Coulsdon. Meanwhile, Lord Sydney Opera-House unsuccessfully pursues the love of his life, Lady Alice-Springs (most beautiful lady in the world – and incidentally, the wealthiest). Can Sheila help? Will the principal boys win the hearts of the principal girls? Will the barbie be a success? Are there any gags about Aussies we haven’t plundered and mercilessly exploited? And will the three witches be too evil to be allowed onstage and exiled forever to make tea and serve mince pies? To find the answers to these and many other mosquitoes (sorry, misquotes) don’t miss Coulsdon’s bonza pantomime, a show so big, it needs two dames…

As You Like It

Ever been young and in love? Shakespeare must have been, because this is a play that understands the sheer giddy joy of love, and the desperate lengths it can drive us to. ‘As You Like It’ is sometimes seen as a counterpoint to ‘Romeo and Juliet’ – love as comedy rather than tragedy. Rosalind is certainly no pale and wan Juliet, but arguably Shakespeare’s most memorable heroine. She has more lines than Juliet, Cleopatra, Beatrice and Portia, any of them. Maybe Shakespeare was just a little in love with his own creation. And who could blame him? She’s the kind of girl you’d want to spend time with, vital; brave; clever; funny and devoted. Oh, a bit of a liability too, of course, but fun to be around.

So, what’s the story? Well, firstly, there are two Dukes. The ‘good’ Duke, called Senior, has been toppled from power by his very own brother, the ‘bad’ Duke, Ferdinand. Senior is then exiled to the nearby Forest of Arden, where he seems to enjoy a carefree life hunting, shooting, fishing and singing. It seems that banishment has been more of a blessing than a curse. Meanwhile his brother’s court is an altogether darker place, full of gossip, scheming and suspicion. Now, each of the Dukes has a daughter, and the two girls are inseparable friends. It’s this that has initially prevented Rosalind from being exiled along with her father, but when Ferdinand finally casts her out, both she and Ferdinand’s daughter Celia run away. Of course, by this point, love has raised its head, and Rosalind has fallen for Orlando, a young man at court being persecuted by his less than pleasant older brother. Thankfully, he’s in love with her too, so when she leaves court for the Forest, he follows. However, Rosalind has now disguised herself a boy, calling herself ‘Ganymede’, and it’s in this form that Orlando finds her and in classic style, doesn’t recognise her. To make things more convoluted, Sylvius the shepherd boy is besotted with Phoebe, who in turn only has eyes for Ganymede!

Themes such as the liberating power of love, sibling rivalry and restitution, the healing force of nature and the simple pleasures of country life are all explored here, despite the plot being frankly ludicrous at times. And there’s a happy ending. Several in fact, as brothers are no longer at odds, lovers have put aside disguise and all is well. Except perhaps for Jaques, who has been melancholy throughout and decides ultimately to go off and be miserable in a monastery. You can’t please everyone.

The text has been trimmed in TWC’s version. Many topical gags that no doubt had them rolling in the groundlings back in 1599 are now impenetrable, and worse, not funny. If you’re a purist, prepare for disappointment, but it’s for the greater good.

There are more songs in ‘As You Like It’ than any other Shakespeare play. We’ve kept them and set them to traditional tunes. One of them, ‘What Shall He have That Killed The Deer’, shares many of its lyrics with ‘Hal-An’Tow’, the traditional Cornish May song. The version here is an amalgam of the two, complete with its reference to defeating the Spanish Armada, which at the time the play was first performed had happened just ten years previously. Many thanks are due to Jeannie Lewis who led the arrangement of all the songs and incidental music, and with the other musicians will be playing live on stage throughout the run of the show.

The Trial

‘The Trial’ tells the tale of Josef K, a man unexpectedly arrested by an unknown authority for an unspecified crime, and the story follows his increasingly desperate attempts to negotiate a labyrinthine legal process and an untouchable, unreachable court, while never finding out what it is that he has been accused of.

Kafka started to write ‘The Trial’ in August 1914 and continued on through 1915, despite the outbreak of war. Like his other two novels he never completed it, and it was only after his death in 1924 that it was published. His haphazard method of writing saw the novel take shape across a number of different notebooks, all being used simultaneously. When Kafka’s friend Max Brod eventually persuaded him to surrender the ‘manuscript’ (Kafka had a habit of destroying his own work, which Brod was trying to prevent) he was given 161 loose pages, gathered into chapters, but no clue as to what order the chapters should be in. It does have a beginning, and though abrupt, it certainly has an end, but though Brod, and later, others, have edited the work, it remains unclear what Kafka’s true plan was.

This uncertainty has been a fertile ground for dramatic interpretation over the years. In 1962, Orson Welles filmed a version with Anthony Perkins as Josef K, while Steven Berkoff presented his own unique and experimental take in 1970, with elements of physical theatre and mime, verging on the surreal. Tom Basden, who would also go on to adapt Dario Fo’s ‘Accidental Death of an Anarchist’, presented a new version in 2010 set in modern day London called ‘Joseph K’, where the main protagonist was a City banker.

Lucy-Ann Martin’s adaptation here certainly draws inspiration from Berkoff, notably in its use of physical theatre, and the employment of an ensemble cast. As each actor moves on to another role within the story, the intention is to underline the facelessness of the authority that Josef K finds himself hopelessly and inexplicably at odds with. His relationship with those he encounters on the twisting path of the system he is forced to take is polarised. Men only serve to confuse, presenting a series of barriers or problems that prevent him from obtaining justice. Women are a weakness for him, though he seems to be endowed with some form of unexplained allure which he uses not simply to satiate his desires but advance his cause. If this makes our Josef something less than the total innocent, then perhaps this is because nobody is completely without guilt, now are they? And then the driver becomes not simply what am I charged with, but what do they know, and paranoia takes its insidious hold.

The Fairytale of New York

Melodrama, magic and mystery set in the riotous world of 1930’s Vaudeville.

A festive treat with a difference. A dash of ‘Annie’, a twist of ‘Cabaret’, and great big helpings of melodrama, mystery and rip-snorting comedy. Plus some of the greatest songs from the shows you could ever wish for. A great family entertainment for all ages.Macey Maguire has a dream – she’s going to make it big on Broadway. Arriving penniless in New York, Macey gets a break at Delancey’s, the city’s last Vaudeville theater. Soon she’s rubbing shoulders with the troupe of variety artists who ply their trade in the old music hall. But the public’s appetite for burlesque is on the wane, the theater’s finances are on the rocks, and the entertainers are squabbling like rats in a sack. Organised crime wants the real estate the theater’s built on, and worse still, members of the company keep disappearing into thin air… And nobody – not the theater management nor the New York Police Department – can figure out where they go. But they’ve all reckoned without Macey Maguire…

Cinderella’s Puss In Boots

Take the classic story of Cinderella, add the bluff and swagger of Puss in Boots, and you get two much-loved seasonal tales woven into one sparkling festive show.

Yes, we’ve put panto favourites Cinderella and Puss on stage together for the first time, in an irreverent mash-up of two much-loved seasonal tales. That means you get two principal boys for the thigh-slapping price of one, the most deliciously appalling Ugly Sisters ever to grace the stage, and the ultimate in hissable baddies – King Rat, evil lord of the underworld. Plus, of course, Puss-in-Boots at his irresistible, swashbuckling best. Beautiful Cinderella undergoes the usual series of traumas, trials and torments – until her Ab-Fab style fairy godmothers and fashion gurus breeze in to save the day with a haute couture transformation guaranteed to catch a prince’s heart. This is a top-notch Cinderella, with just that little bit extra panto goodness thrown into the mix.

Set in, and under, the fairy-tale land of Cornucopia, ruled by good(ish) King Egbert, the action starts with something evil stirring in the darkness below, and it’s got a tail, whiskers and cheap crown…