The Merry Ballad of Robin Hood

Gracious princesses, noble lords, benevolent kings and daring outlaws…

…do not appear anywhere in this show. But we do have a pantomime cow, a girl dressed as a boy and a man in a dress, because this is panto, but not as you know it!

The King of England has a problem. He’s late for the Crusades; but his real problem is that he needs to find someone to look after his wilful daughter, the Princess Marian, while he’s away knocking holes in the Holy Land.

The Princess Marian has a problem. Her father the king keeps threatening to marry her off to one of his useless Lords; but her real problem is that she’s just been dumped in Nottingham, a damp, run-down back-water run by the mean-spirited Sheriff.

The Sheriff of Nottingham has a problem. Actually he has lots of problems, but the biggest one is that he’s broke. All of his money has been stolen by a gang of thieves and robbers calling themselves the Merry Men, led by Robin Hood.

Robin Hood has a problem. No-one understands him. His interior designer is obsessed with leopard print and his Merry Men are entirely too merry; but his real problem is that he’s a man with ambition stuck in a mouldy, smelly, flea-pit of a forest.

The Bursar has a problem. But who cares?

How will all this be resolved, and how can we fit it all into just two acts along with a custard pie fight and a quiver full of songs? There’s only one way to find out…

In an all-new pantomime written by Sean Young, we finally discover the truth about the most famous outlaw in history, Robin Hood, as well as his arch-enemy the Sheriff of Nottingham and his ‘true love’, Maid Marian. Short on arrows, big on custard pies, with more strolling minstrels than you can shake a quarterstaff at, this comic re-telling of the legend ‘bardly’ goes where no panto has gone before!

Radio Days – The Golden Age of Wireless

 

This year marks the 70th anniversary of the launch of the BBC’s Light Programme in 1945, which went on to provide such iconic entertainment throughout the late 1940’s and 50’s. With just the spoken word, some music and a few choice sound effects, the listener could be transported anywhere. All they needed was a little imagination. Adventure tales such as ‘Dick Barton – Special Agent’ and ‘Journey into Space’, comedy from ‘The Goons’ and ‘Hancock’s Half Hour’ and serials like ‘The Archers’ attracted millions of listeners.

As a tribute to those classic shows, we’ve put together an evening of light entertainment using the same principles. Some drama, some comedy, all linked together with music from the period.  And this format has given us an excellent platform to showcase some of TWC’s newer and/or previously untapped talents. The show has been written or adapted, with two small exceptions, by ourselves. For Joe Wilson and Sean Young it’s the first time they’ll have seen something they’ve written come to life on stage.  They’ve directed them too.  And it may be their first writing, but it won’t be their last.

So tune in to Theatre Workshop Coulsdon this March, and be transported back to a time when a young Princess Elizabeth was about to become Queen, the British Empire still covered the pages of your school atlas in pink, Dan Dare was the pilot of the future, and Dick Barton was Britain’s finest secret agent. In the post-war years, before the real coming of television, families would gather around the wireless to be informed, educated and above all, entertained. A magic combination of sound, music, voice and a sense of wonder spirited the listening nation to far-off lands, distant times or sometimes just around the corner. Bold adventure and stirring drama rubbed shoulders with surreal comedy. TWC’s ‘Radio Days’ is an affectionate recreation of those golden years of British radio, showcasing a series of short plays evoking the atmosphere of those times, with live music and live sound effects. An evening of laughter, songs and suspense*. Come along, and bring your imagination with you…

*See the Radio Times for details (a pre-1957 edition that is).

‘Slaves of the Sultan’ by Richard Lloyd

‘Wrong Number’ adapted by Paul M Ford from a script by Don Negri

‘The Night Mail’ by W H Auden

‘The Crossroads’ adapted by Richard Lloyd from an original US Radio script

‘Reginald Rare – Rocketeer Extraordinaire! (In the 21st Century)’ by Sean Young

Agatha Christie’s ‘The Lamp’ adapted by Paul M Ford from a 1933 short story

‘Murder at Monford Manor – A Harrison Harrison Mystery’ by Joe Wilson

‘The Weather Forecast’ by Les Barker

The Producers

 

The Producers was Mel Brooks’ first ever movie back in 1968. Starring Zero Mostel as Max and Gene Wilder as Leo, it became both a cult and a commercial success, and Brooks even picked up an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. An improbable hit as a movie, it was an even less likely one as a Broadway musical, which Brooks did in 2001. A byword for tongue-in-cheek bad taste, it became the most successful Broadway show of all time, winning a record breaking 12 Tony awards and running for more than 2,500 performances over six years. And then art imitated art, as a movie of the musical based on a movie came out in 2005, starring Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick and Uma Thurman.

Born into a German Jewish family who fled the Nazis in the 1930’s, Mel Brooks was uniquely qualified to poke merciless fun at the Third Reich. Frankly, it’s impossible to believe that anyone without his background could have got away with it. Then again, the whole premise of a couple of Jewish con-men staging a sure-fire Broadway flop based on a camp musical about Adolf Hitler is so absurd, it would be difficult for anyone to take genuine offence. Besides, Brooks has many targets for his satire in The Producers – not least the whole shallow pretentious ‘bubble’ of Broadway itself. (Which is rather ironic, as it turns out, given the huge success of the show.)

The Producers is an extraordinary musical. Set in New York in 1959, the one-time ‘King of Broadway’, Max Bialystock, sees his latest show ‘Funny Boy’ close after just one night. Down and out, dependent on playing the aging lothario to wealthy but very elderly spinsters and widows, Max is thrown a lifeline back to success and the high life in the unlikely form of timorous accountant, Leo Bloom. Bloom discovers that a flop show can make more money than a hit, and so the two set out to lie, cheat and schmooze their way to a million bucks by staging a sure-fire Broadway flop – the worst taste musical ever written: ‘Springtime For Hitler’. The rest is showbiz history. Bursting with laugh-out-loud jokes and outrageously funny musical numbers, The Producers is pure, unadulterated joy.

Now it’s fair to say that Theatre Workshop Coulsdon are not, first and foremost, a musical group. But we do like projects that are a bit unexpected. So we’ve rescued ‘The Producers’ from the cold dead clutches of of the light-operatic am-dram circuit, and given it the down-and-dirty TWC makeover it deserves. We aren’t dancers, we aren’t singers. We don’t have the required 37-piece orchestra. But we do have a bunch of talented musicians and chutzpah to spare, and what could be more in keeping with the spirit of Mel Brooks than that? We hope you enjoy the show!

 

The Whispering Wood

Welcome to the Whispering Wood.

In our performance tonight, it’s a clearing where two bands of roving actors meet, and find themselves competing to tell the best tale. In real life, it reflects an age-old English tradition of travelling theatre that we’ve supported for the last twenty years, entertaining people from Coulsdon and beyond with our open air productions. This isn’t the first time we’ve performed folk and fairy-tale based plays, having previously stage ‘Grimm Tales’ in 2003 and ‘More Grimm Tales’ in 2006. But many of tonight’s stories will probably be less familiar to you. Our author, Lucy-Ann Martin, has always been fascinated by folk tales, and she spent a year reading several hundred of them from cultures all over the globe, while travelling the world herself. She then collected her favourites and ended up with more than sixty possible tales to included in a performance. We’ve whittled these down to the final dozen or so stories that we’ll perform for you this evening. They come from all over the planet. Some are many hundreds of years old, some are far more recent, but what is amazing is just how universal the themes are.

Storytelling is a skill and a challenge we relish, and the perfect way (we thought!) to make sure the production was truly innovative was to arrange the telling of the tales as being part of a competition. The Great North Players taking on the Little Sackville Players, each trying their utmost to amuse and entertain you and ultimately gain your favour. A vote for whichever group of players did best will take place at the end of the evening, and you, the audience, will decide the outcome!

First a few thanks though. To Jeannie Lewis, who has for the second year running led the choice and arrangement of all the live music you’ll hear tonight. She and her husband Keith will be playing live at every performance, along with Simeon Dawes and Ryan Newby, just as musicians would have done in times long past. Thanks too for Jenny Moorcroft who designed the programme for us. And finally thanks to you, the audience, for coming and supporting us. Every play is a contract between the audience and the actors, this one a little more explicitly than most, perhaps. And we sincerely hope you enjoy it!

 

Twelfth Night – The Panto

We’re sticking to a Shakespearean theme for Christmas, with another original TWC panto, this time based (very loosely) on “Twelfth Night”, but with added slapstick, men dressed as women (dressed as men), “oh no it isn’t”, and “oh yes it is”. It’s a riotously funny pantomime full of unexpected twists and turns. Forget Illyria – a freak storm blows a day-trip to Boulogne way off course. Six months later it’s shipwrecked on the coast of Australia. Auntie Podees and her niece, Sheila, have to find work disguised as men to earn their passage back to Coulsdon. Meanwhile, Lord Sydney Opera-House unsuccessfully pursues the love of his life, Lady Alice-Springs (most beautiful lady in the world – and incidentally, the wealthiest). Can Sheila help? Will the principal boys win the hearts of the principal girls? Will the barbie be a success? Are there any gags about Aussies we haven’t plundered and mercilessly exploited? And will the three witches be too evil to be allowed onstage and exiled forever to make tea and serve mince pies? To find the answers to these and many other mosquitoes (sorry, misquotes) don’t miss Coulsdon’s bonza pantomime, a show so big, it needs two dames…

The Trial

‘The Trial’ tells the tale of Josef K, a man unexpectedly arrested by an unknown authority for an unspecified crime, and the story follows his increasingly desperate attempts to negotiate a labyrinthine legal process and an untouchable, unreachable court, while never finding out what it is that he has been accused of.

Kafka started to write ‘The Trial’ in August 1914 and continued on through 1915, despite the outbreak of war. Like his other two novels he never completed it, and it was only after his death in 1924 that it was published. His haphazard method of writing saw the novel take shape across a number of different notebooks, all being used simultaneously. When Kafka’s friend Max Brod eventually persuaded him to surrender the ‘manuscript’ (Kafka had a habit of destroying his own work, which Brod was trying to prevent) he was given 161 loose pages, gathered into chapters, but no clue as to what order the chapters should be in. It does have a beginning, and though abrupt, it certainly has an end, but though Brod, and later, others, have edited the work, it remains unclear what Kafka’s true plan was.

This uncertainty has been a fertile ground for dramatic interpretation over the years. In 1962, Orson Welles filmed a version with Anthony Perkins as Josef K, while Steven Berkoff presented his own unique and experimental take in 1970, with elements of physical theatre and mime, verging on the surreal. Tom Basden, who would also go on to adapt Dario Fo’s ‘Accidental Death of an Anarchist’, presented a new version in 2010 set in modern day London called ‘Joseph K’, where the main protagonist was a City banker.

Lucy-Ann Martin’s adaptation here certainly draws inspiration from Berkoff, notably in its use of physical theatre, and the employment of an ensemble cast. As each actor moves on to another role within the story, the intention is to underline the facelessness of the authority that Josef K finds himself hopelessly and inexplicably at odds with. His relationship with those he encounters on the twisting path of the system he is forced to take is polarised. Men only serve to confuse, presenting a series of barriers or problems that prevent him from obtaining justice. Women are a weakness for him, though he seems to be endowed with some form of unexplained allure which he uses not simply to satiate his desires but advance his cause. If this makes our Josef something less than the total innocent, then perhaps this is because nobody is completely without guilt, now are they? And then the driver becomes not simply what am I charged with, but what do they know, and paranoia takes its insidious hold.

The Fairytale of New York

Melodrama, magic and mystery set in the riotous world of 1930’s Vaudeville.

A festive treat with a difference. A dash of ‘Annie’, a twist of ‘Cabaret’, and great big helpings of melodrama, mystery and rip-snorting comedy. Plus some of the greatest songs from the shows you could ever wish for. A great family entertainment for all ages.Macey Maguire has a dream – she’s going to make it big on Broadway. Arriving penniless in New York, Macey gets a break at Delancey’s, the city’s last Vaudeville theater. Soon she’s rubbing shoulders with the troupe of variety artists who ply their trade in the old music hall. But the public’s appetite for burlesque is on the wane, the theater’s finances are on the rocks, and the entertainers are squabbling like rats in a sack. Organised crime wants the real estate the theater’s built on, and worse still, members of the company keep disappearing into thin air… And nobody – not the theater management nor the New York Police Department – can figure out where they go. But they’ve all reckoned without Macey Maguire…

The Return Of The Three Musketeers

Twenty years on from his greatest adventure, D’Artagnan is disillusioned. Still only a lowly-paid lieutenant in the musketeers, his friends long gone, forgotten by the powerful people he once rescued from death and dishonour. But where once he saved a queen, a chance turn of events gives D’Artagnan the opportunity to save a King, and a King of England at that! But he can’t do it alone. Can he recruit his old comrades Porthos, Athos and Aramis from retirement? And can they save themselves from the vengeful agent of death that follows their every move?

Freely adapted from Alexandre Dumas’ own stirring Musketeers sequel ‘Twenty Years After’, this is a colourful new story of swashbuckling high adventure, fun and derring-do!

All for one, and one for all, once more!

There are two stories to be told here. One is the best part of two hundred years old, the other just sixteen.

1844. The French author Alexandre Dumas published ‘The Three Musketeers’ as a serial in a magazine. It was an immediate success, and a sequel came out a year later, and a third and final instalment two years after that. ‘The Three Musketeers’ seized the public’s imagination and to one degree or another, has continued to do so ever since.

The four great friends, Athos, Porthos, Aramis and the younger D’Artagnan became over the course of the books embroiled in plots and plans that changed history. Dumas was an avid historian and liked to show off to his readers how much he knew. Mind you, that didn’t stop him riding rough-shod over history when it suited the story!

It’s arguably the most successful piece of French literature ever. (Let’s draw a discreet veil over ‘Les Miserables’ please) There have been movies (lots of them, the first in 1903, the last one just last year), musicals (one part-written by P G Wodehouse of all people) and operas, television series and even cartoons. (those of a certain age may fondly remember ‘Dogtanian and the Three Muskehounds’ though others might run screaming from the room…) One such version was a play written by Willis Hall, which caught the eye of Theatre Workshop Coulsdon founder member and director Chris Argles.

1996, and TWC first comes to grips with the original action-heroes. Richard Lloyd played Athos, Mike Brown was Porthos and I played Aramis. We swashed buckles, waved swords and saved the day. Mike even ran across the stage naked (except for a large musketeer hat!) but only of course because the script demanded it… His grandmother was never quite the same after seeing it!

2011. We’re looking for a follow-up to the open-air success of ‘The Canterbury Tales’. ‘The Three Musketeers’ is suggested, but we really don’t want to revisit the same script because, well, we’ve done it before. Why don’t we do the sequel? Because no-one’s written one. ‘I’ll write one’ says I. The fact I’ve never written a play in my life before seemingly not a stumbling block. Ahem.

2012. Here we are. The play is written, we’ve taken the same three actors to play the original Three Musketeers, and that’s deliberate. The sequel to the first book was called ‘Twenty Years After’ and it’s not far off that between our productions. We’re all older. Probably a bit slower and a bit heavier, maybe even a little wiser. But are we growing old gracefully? Are the Musketeers? Probably not. But is that a bad thing? I don’t think so. Oh, and a note for any Dumas purists out there. I have taken huge liberties with the book. And if you have a problem with that, I’ll meet you outside…with my three friends! All for one, and one for all!

The Changeling

Licensed on 7 May 1622, The Changeling, by Thomas Middleton and William Rowley, is widely seen as one of the best plays of the Jacobean era (the reign of King James I). It’s a violent, baroque tale that manages to be both funny and horrific in its parallel plots.

Beatrice-Joanna – spoilt, rich, beautiful – is blinded by desire for Alsemero, but betrothed to Piracquo. To rid herself of her unwanted fiancé, she enlists Deflores – a disfigured servant who both repels and fascinates her. But Deflores has desires of his own, and Beatrice-Joanna has no idea of the terrible price he will exact.

Meanwhile, in the asylum, a pair of noblemen masquerade as lunatics to have their wicked way with the madhouse-keeper’s young wife. This comic plot holds up a mirror to the main plot, offering an alternative take on the same themes of madness and infatuation.

Who is the changeling of the title? Well superficially, it’s Antonio, one of the madhouse imposters. But the true changeling is Beatrice-Joanna – the young noblewoman who  inexplicably turns into an amoral monster. In Middleton and Rowley’s England, people would have had no hesitation in blaming witchcraft for such a sudden, total collapse of character. Including the substitution of an apparently dutiful and virtuous daughter by some evil surrogate or changeling.

The playwrights know better of course. They deftly show how a few fateful steps take an impressionable young mind from the delirium of love to dangerous obsession. But is Beatrice-Joanna deluded, deranged or simply hapless? Does she really make the fatal mistake of engaging a contract killer without understanding the nature of the contract? Is she a spoilt little rich girl, whose game of dare spirals out of control, or a calculating sociopath? This central riddle is one reason why The Changeling remains such a compelling thriller, four centuries after it was first performed.

Middleton and Rowley

Like Shakespeare, Thomas Middleton (1580-1627) was a successful jobbing playwright in the flourishing heyday of the early English theatre. He turned out dozens of plays, masques and pageants between 1602 and 1624. He collaborated with, amongst many others, Shakespeare himself, and is known to be responsible for parts of several of Shakespeare’s plays including Macbeth and The Winter’s Tale.

Middleton is generally credited with the tragic main plot of The Changeling, whilst Rowley is thought to be responsible for much of the comic sub-plot. But the hand of each man is also present in sections of the play attributed to the other. Middleton in particular had forged a style very much of his own, turning the conventional ‘aside’ into a parallel reality where characters converse with each other whilst sharing their thoughts with the audience – an intriguing subversion of the theatrical convention of his day.

Middleton was ahead of his time in his writing style too. He was capable of superb verse. But in The Changeling his dialogue is spare, gritty and workaday – more natural and immediate than Shakespeare’s. In fact, the play owes much to changes which coincided with the end of Shakespeare’s career. By the 1620’s, the outdoor Elizabethan playhouses had closed. The Changeling, first staged at The Cockpit in Drury Lane, forms part of a later genre known as ‘Revenge Tragedy’. These plays were tailored for cramped indoor theatres – hot, claustrophobic, and lit only by guttering candles. Small wonder The Changeling seems so gothic, shadowy and stifling.

That said, Middleton and Rowley’s setting of ‘Alicante’ owes very little to Spain, and a great deal  to the London the authors knew so well. With the asylum in particular, we are clearly in London’s Bedlam, and being royally entertained – as Londoners were – by madness.

Cinderella’s Puss In Boots

Take the classic story of Cinderella, add the bluff and swagger of Puss in Boots, and you get two much-loved seasonal tales woven into one sparkling festive show.

Yes, we’ve put panto favourites Cinderella and Puss on stage together for the first time, in an irreverent mash-up of two much-loved seasonal tales. That means you get two principal boys for the thigh-slapping price of one, the most deliciously appalling Ugly Sisters ever to grace the stage, and the ultimate in hissable baddies – King Rat, evil lord of the underworld. Plus, of course, Puss-in-Boots at his irresistible, swashbuckling best. Beautiful Cinderella undergoes the usual series of traumas, trials and torments – until her Ab-Fab style fairy godmothers and fashion gurus breeze in to save the day with a haute couture transformation guaranteed to catch a prince’s heart. This is a top-notch Cinderella, with just that little bit extra panto goodness thrown into the mix.

Set in, and under, the fairy-tale land of Cornucopia, ruled by good(ish) King Egbert, the action starts with something evil stirring in the darkness below, and it’s got a tail, whiskers and cheap crown…