Sherlock Holmes and the Vampyres of London

London 1887. When the mortal remains of a young aristocrat vanish in the dead of night from Brompton Necropolis, Sherlock Holmes is no sooner asked to investigate than a second mystery presents itself – a beautiful young heiress afflicted by unaccountable night terrors; her vitality slipping away.

As these two strange cases resolve themselves into one, Holmes and his steadfast companion, Dr. John Watson, are plunged into a hidden London of grave-robbing grotesques, murderous Szgany gypsies, and demonic possession that obscures a diabolical conspiracy to overthrow the Crown itself.

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon’s thrilling homage to late Victorian gothic pits two of fiction’s most enduring characters against each other. But in the fog-shrouded metropolis where nothing is what it seems, which towering colossus of literary legend will triumph in this savage, epochal battle of wits?

From the author:

Indulging an occasional impulse to put something dark on stage, when ‘Sherlock Holmes and the Vampyres of London’ slid into my head, I thought I’d hit upon an original idea. Ah well. Ten minutes on Google laid bare an entire sub-culture of Holmes vs. Dracula novels, comics and essays. I guess bringing together the two pre-eminent creations of late Victorian fiction was a bit of a no-brainer. The Yin and Yang of the fin-de-siècle imagination – an epic face-off for the ages…

In the red, white and blue corner: Sherlock Holmes – arch-rationalist, buttoned-up, attractively flawed apotheosis of British pluck, doggedness, and all-round brilliance. Set against him, that epitome of lubricious, unchecked carnal desires: Dracula – the screaming antithesis of idealized Victorian manhood. Evil, hypersexualized, and downright foreign. It’s the ultimate Victorian superhero against the ultimate Victorian bogeyman. I mean, why wouldn’t you?

Holmes first appeared in 1887; Dracula 10 years later in 1897. Both characters achieved almost immediate superstar status – a dazzling supernova of global fame which has shown no sign of fading since. They are twin titans of popular culture, endlessly reimagined in movies, television, books, games and comics.

Both Arthur Conan Doyle and Bram Stoker achieved immortality of sorts thanks to their creations: a Scotsman and an Irishman giving life to two of the most famous, enduring, and built-upon characters in English fiction.

I have built upon them shamelessly in turn. It was fun bringing them together.

 

The Wind In The Willows

Since 1908, this classic tale of inquisitive Mole, stolid Ratty, gruff Badger and ‘ever in trouble’ Toad has delighted children of all ages, and most adults too! This stage adaptation by Theatre Workshop Coulsdon follows their adventures from the river bank to the Wild Wood, via the open road to the deepest dungeon, with a thrilling climax at stately Toad Hall. It’s a path strewn with boats, trains, caravans and stolen cars, as our animal heroes overcome adversity and their own natures to emerge victorious. By turns charming and funny, this is a splendid way to while away a English summer’s evening.

1918 – When The Guns Fell Silent

A dramatic exploration of the final year of the Great War and its aftermath.

100 Years ago the Great War entered its final few months. Victory was close. But for who? And at what cost? The world would never be the same again. The social landscape of Britain altered forever.

Using songs, readings, poetry and drama, even humour, Theatre Workshop Coulsdon explores this final year of tears and revolution, and looks beyond to see the impact that this bloody clash of empires made on the century that followed.

And exhibition on the First World War and the fallen soldiers of Coulsdon, curated by local researchers, will accompany the production.

What are you about to see? It’s a good question. It’s not a play, but there is drama. It’s definitely not a comedy, although there is humour. It’s not a lecture either, though we do hope you go away with a better understanding of the events of a century ago. When it was proposed last December, one of the biggest drivers was that this would our last opportunity to explore the Great War and still be relevant to the centenary. We’d run ‘Oh, What A Lovely War’ some years back, and we could have just reprised that, but we didn’t want to cover old ground. And we didn’t just want to look at the war in general. This is the 100th anniversary of 1918, and so we wanted to focus as far as we could on that specific year.

            Throughout January, February and yes, even March, we wrote dramas and narratives looking at subjects that the events of 1918 brought to the fore. Topics that interested and excited us. And we hope will interest and excite you too. Over the next couple of hours you will see them, interspersed with the poems of Sassoon, Houseman and others, along with songs either of the time or looking back at it, and a number of the ‘Forgotten Voices’ of soldiers who fought during the War. And yes, an episode from ‘Oh, What A Lovely War’. We follow a rough chronology, from January 1918 through until the modern day, hopefully showing that even now, the echoes of the war to end all wars continue to affect us.

            We haven’t managed to cover everything. There’s nothing here, for instance, about the exploits of the fledgling RAF, the first London Blitz or the Spanish Flu epidemic. What we do have is, I think, an attempt to show that the soldiers of both sides were very much the same, in their hopes, expectations and experiences.

            It was a war that saw over 19 million deaths, military and civilian, and over 23 million other casualties, ultimately all for no real purpose. Maybe, even 100 years on, it’s not too late to learn the lesson of the futility of war. But as George Ellison, the last British soldier to be killed in the war, and a character you will see in our performance says, ‘if we haven’t learned from this, we’ll never bloody learn…’          

The Snow Queen

Kai and Gerda have been friends all their lives. So when Kai is stolen away from their village by the dreaded Snow Queen, Gerda sets out to bring him back, despite the impossible odds. Across frozen lands where the Snow Queen and her dark companion Jack Frost are increasing their icy grip, brave Gerda makes her way north, encountering friends, foes and the fantastic. But nothing will stop her finding Kai. Nothing can break the bonds of true friendship.

Written by Lucy-Ann Martin, adapted from the classic fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen, this delightful and uplifting tale is a magical adventure for all ages.

Fall under the spell of the Snow Queen this winter….

Dick Barton and the Slaves of the Sultan

Good evening. This is the BBC Light Programme broadcasting from London. It’s 6.45 and time for the next thrilling episode of Dick Barton and the Slaves of The Sultan’!”

When Dick Barton, Boy’s Own adventurer, all-English hero and teatime wireless star, is called upon by MI5 to track down a wealthy socialite missing off the Horn of Africa, little does he know the can of worms he’s about to open. Before you can say ‘I say, that’s not cricket!’ our hero is mixed up in a fiendish foreign plot to seize control of our upright and principled British armaments industry. Good heavens!

With his loyal working class sidekicks, Jock and Snowy, by his side, Barton sallies forth encountering a nefarious criminal syndicate called the X Faction; an hypnotic femme fatale; and a run-in with that other national treasure, Squadron Leader James ‘Biggles’ Bigglesworth of the Special Air Police.

Will Barton, side-parting and moral certainty intact, win the day through British pluck and determination? Will gorgeous heiress, Felicity Buff-Orpington, escape the steamy seraglio of Zanzibar; and if she does, will the pure un-distilled manliness of the Barton ideal wilt in the face of her manifold charms? Or will assorted foreign Johnnies and homegrown villains consign Barton to an improbable cliffhanger ending from which there can be no possible escape?!

There’s only one way to find out, tune in to the next exciting instalment of: ‘Dick Barton, Special Agent…’

 

 

Radio Days Transmission Two : The War Years

After the success of our first Radio Days showcase in 2015, set in the golden days of wireless broadcasting, we’re leaping aboard our dramatic time machine and going back still further.

Transmission Two : The War Years sees us clutching our gas masks and ration books, with one ear listening to the radio and the other waiting for the air raid siren. A collection of songs, sketches and playlets, from the deadly serious to the downright funny, and all inspired by the period, means an excellent evening of new yet nostalgic entertainment for everyone.

So on with your siren suits, use gravy browning and an eye pencil if you can’t afford nylons, and make your way with care through the black-out to Coulsdon Community Centre. And put that light out!

On the BBC Home Service tonight, the following schedule will be broadcast on 668 kHz (South) and 767 kHz (North).

Welcome to tonight’s show.  Like our previous ‘Radio Days’ presentation back in 2015, this is very much a project that attempts to achieve a number of different goals. On one level we will try to evoke some of the feeling of living and surviving through the turbulent times of the Second World War. There was danger, but there was also community as people worked, and played, together to get through the storm. And a sense of humour was one of the strongest defences against a sea of troubles, from rationing, shortages and petty bureaucracy to death and loss.

On another level, this is a grand experiment, harking back to the early days of Theatre Workshop Coulsdon. All of the pieces you’ll see on stage tonight were written or adapted by members of the group. For some it’s their first time attempt at creative writing. It’s a big leap. And we’re very proud of what they’ve achieved. Almost nothing had been written when we started our rehearsals and workshops in January.  Each short play has evolved over the last three months, some easily and with grace, some more awkwardly, in fits and starts. But they are ready now, and all represent time, effort and imagination on the part of not just the writer but all the people at Workshop who’ve contributed ideas. This has been very much a team effort.

And let’s not forget the music. We have some glorious songs and voices for you tonight, accompanied by our ‘BBC Very Light Orchestra’, three talented, creative and endlessly patient musicians.

So close your eyes and be taken back in time again. And enjoy.

Warning. We are expecting atmospheric disturbances during latter part of this broadcast, which may interrupt the programme. We do hope your enjoyment won’t be too badly affected.

The Adventures of Dick Turpin

When Clemency Turnip’s Coffee House is closed down for ‘low morals’ and dealing in illicit liquor, her son Jack and serving-girl Polly Flinders find themselves out on the mean streets of 18th Century London and surviving on their wits. For Polly, it’s a path that may see her find her real parents. For Jack it’s a road to fame and notoriety as the land’s most celebrated highwayman!

Set in the colourful time of ‘Poldark’, ‘Tom Jones’ and Hogarth’s ‘Rake’s Progress’, this all-new pantomime adventure comes complete with outrageous Dame, girls dressed as boys, an audience participation song and every opportunity to boo the villains and cheer the heroes.

Will Turnip’s Coffee House be re-opened? Will moody and smouldering Woss Poldork regain the rights to his Cornish treacle mine? Will merchant banker Sir Beastlie Fugg get his deserved come-uppance? Will true love find its way?

 

A Midsummer Night’s Dream (2016)

Return to the Forest

It’s 20 years since we last put on a production of ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’, and here, a few of the company reflect on the play and its part in both TWC’s history and theirs…

Dan (Director)

I was 16 when I played Flute in TWC’s 1996 production. I remember coming on stage at Bewl Water and looking up at this huge sea of faces : more than 650 people had come to  see our last night. It was amazing. Later on I went to drama school, worked as an actor (and now as an agent). How strange then, but also strangely wonderful,  to be back directing the play for a new generation. Most of the current cast weren’t in our previous productions, and it’s honestly a privilege to introduce this boisterous, joyful masterpiece — often said to be the nation’s favourite play — to a new  group of young TWC actors. It’s 400 years old, and still incredibly touching, incredibly funny. Evidently the English sense of humour hasn’t changed all that much.

Rupert (Flute)

This is only my second play with TWC (my second play anywhere for that matter), and  I wasn’t sure how I’d take to Shakespearean dialogue. I didn’t even know he wrote comedies. But once I’d got the meaning sorted, it was hilarious! Full of life. A complete revelation really. The characters and their motivations are easily recognisable, even 400 years on. As for taking on Flute, well, it’s a big responsibility.  I mean, I’ve seen a recording of a baby-faced Dan playing Flute 20 years ago. I can tell I’m walking in the footsteps of giants. :^) Luckily TWC are not only a talented group, but a positive bunch of people too. Joining them has been almost life-changing. And I’m proud to be a member.

Lucy-Ann (Helena)

I grew up surrounded by Theatre Workshop, and I remember watching the 1996 production when I was just six! The fairies were magical, the mechanicals hilarious, and the lovers meant to be together. You’d have seen me then in the front row with eyes as big as saucers, longing to be involved. Now I find myself a part of the legendary love triangle/quadrangle/tangle. The fairies have all the magic, mischief and poetry, but we have the most fun. The play revolves around the lovers,. The two friends are pushed to their limits and beyond, and come out the stronger for it. The two suitors, who seem to start with the upper hand, become pawns in the greatest game of all; the desperate, crazy, selfish, blind, obsessive yet wonderful thing that is love. I love them. I love it all.

 Richard (Bottom)

I directed both the 1989 and 1996 productions of ‘Dream’ and played Oberon each time too.  Playing Bottom this time is truly going from the sublime to the ridiculous. Obnoxious yet strangely endearing, he’s one of the most famous comic characters in English theatre. I love this play because it’s such a  joyful depiction of truly English idiocy. It might pretend to be Athens, but in this play Shakespeare is showing  the English at their best and worst.  Bumbling working men with hearts of gold and brains of straw, young toffs behaving badly and yet finding themselves in the end. And the fairy kingdom, glimpsed in the shadows of the wild wood. Magical.

The Ladykillers

When Mrs Wilberforce puts an advert in the local newsagent’s window to rent out her guest bedrooms, the last thing she expects is to be overrun by a group of enthusiastic, if eccentric, amateur musicians. But despite the constant sound of a string quartet filling the house, Professor Marcus and his friends The Major, Harry, Louis and ‘One-Round’ are not what they seem, and soon she finds herself dragged into the Professor’s scheme to pull off a violent robbery. With the police unaware, only Mrs Wilberforce and her parrot, General Gordon, stand between the five desperate criminals and their ill-gotten £200,000.

Will she see justice done? Or will they keep the ‘old girl’ quiet…permanently?

Who will be forced to face the music?

November 1956. It’s over 11 years since the end of the Second World War and Britain is still coming to terms with its new position in the world. The Empire is no more, and in an attempt to restore some national pride and underline an intent to remain a major player on the global stage, Prime Minister Anthony Eden is about to launch an invasion of Egypt to recover the Suez Canal. At home, the rationing introduced in 1939 only finished a year ago, and our austerity struck country still bears the scars of the war it supposedly won, with large sections of blitz-hit London remaining derelict. But the mood is upbeat. The early strains of rock ‘n’ roll are filtering across the Atlantic and with that, the seeds of teenage ‘rebellion’. James Dean and Marilyn Monroe, Rock Hudson, Doris Day and Yul Brynner are the Hollywood stars of the day. An 18 year old Bobby Charlton scored on his debut for Manchester United just three weeks ago and the Melbourne Summer Olympics start later this month.

This is the world of The Ladykillers.

Originally a film made by Ealing Studios and released in 1955, it starred Alec Guinness as ‘Professor’ Marcus, with a young Peter Sellers as Harry and Herbert Lom as Louis.  A largely unsuccessful remake starring Tom Hanks as Marcus, with the action moved to Mississippi, came out in 2004. Graham Linehan, who had already been successful in writing for television with such programmes as ‘Father Ted, ‘Black Books’ and ‘The IT Crowd’ wrote this theatre adaptation in 2011, and after debuting in Liverpool, the production went on to a successful and extended run at the Gielgud Theatre in London’s West End starring Peter Capaldi as ‘Professor’Marcus.

Interestingly, there is a theory that the story of The Ladykillers is more than simply a black comedy, and holds a mirror up to the times it was set in. Thus Mrs Wilberforce is the embodiment of Britannia, an aging defender of proper British values, while her house is the Empire, ramshackle and falling apart, full of the memories of one-time glories now faded. Arrayed against her are the con-man ‘Major’ representing the British ruling classes, with pill-popping wide-boy Harry as dissolute youth, punch-drunk ‘One-Round’ as the oafish masses and knife-wielding Louis the dangerous immigrant. Where ‘Professor’ Marcus fits in, the theory doesn’t say. Perhaps he represents intellectuals, pseudo-intellectuals, academics or even politicians. You can make up your own mind.

Graham Linehan sees it as demonstrating that even the worst of men have a little good in them…and that it is this that ultimately dooms them.Whatever its deeper meanings, if it has them, The Ladykillers is a classic black comedy. Enjoy.

 

The Merry Ballad of Robin Hood

Gracious princesses, noble lords, benevolent kings and daring outlaws…

…do not appear anywhere in this show. But we do have a pantomime cow, a girl dressed as a boy and a man in a dress, because this is panto, but not as you know it!

The King of England has a problem. He’s late for the Crusades; but his real problem is that he needs to find someone to look after his wilful daughter, the Princess Marian, while he’s away knocking holes in the Holy Land.

The Princess Marian has a problem. Her father the king keeps threatening to marry her off to one of his useless Lords; but her real problem is that she’s just been dumped in Nottingham, a damp, run-down back-water run by the mean-spirited Sheriff.

The Sheriff of Nottingham has a problem. Actually he has lots of problems, but the biggest one is that he’s broke. All of his money has been stolen by a gang of thieves and robbers calling themselves the Merry Men, led by Robin Hood.

Robin Hood has a problem. No-one understands him. His interior designer is obsessed with leopard print and his Merry Men are entirely too merry; but his real problem is that he’s a man with ambition stuck in a mouldy, smelly, flea-pit of a forest.

The Bursar has a problem. But who cares?

How will all this be resolved, and how can we fit it all into just two acts along with a custard pie fight and a quiver full of songs? There’s only one way to find out…

In an all-new pantomime written by Sean Young, we finally discover the truth about the most famous outlaw in history, Robin Hood, as well as his arch-enemy the Sheriff of Nottingham and his ‘true love’, Maid Marian. Short on arrows, big on custard pies, with more strolling minstrels than you can shake a quarterstaff at, this comic re-telling of the legend ‘bardly’ goes where no panto has gone before!