Person: Richard Lloyd

The Sweeney Todd Shock N’ Roll Show

Billy and Tommy are two sailors just home from the sea. When Billy decides he needs a shave before travelling home to Susan, his girl, he unfortunately chooses the wrong barber. As does Alonzo, a travelling magician and illusionist extraordinaire. Sweeney Todd’s murderous secret is in danger though. Lured by easy money, Todd has foolishly given an apprenticeship to the young Tobias Stoutheart, and Tobias is curious. Why is there a trapdoor beneath the barber’s chair? Alonzo’s assistant, Foozle, (along with his dog, Orlando) is concerned when his master goes missing, as is Tommy, who knows the last place Billy went was Todd’s barber shop, along with a valuable string of pearls. Together, this trio of investigators might just put an end to the demon barber’s reign of terror, but the trail leads from a Gin Palace in Smithfield to a madhouse in Peckham and finally to Mrs Lovett’s cellar bakehouse for a final confrontation…

This take on the traditional Victorian melodrama is a lot sillier than most other versions. Queen Victoria is just one addition to the usual list of characters, and Mrs Lovett’s Pastriacci Mark III automated pie-making machine, not to mention a police chase involving most of the cast, are among the many opportunities for slapstick and physical theatre. The well-known storyline is still in there somewhere, but this is more ‘Carry On’ than Sondheim.

One footnote. The programme states that the part of Queen Victoria was played by Wendy Cole. Sadly, after the programme had been printed, Wendy fell ill and Paul Ford, who up to that point had been playing John Brown, HRH’s attendant, dragged up and became Queen. Like you do.

The Witches Revue

In the early part of 1985, Theatre Workshop Coulsdon still had a tutor assigned to us, through our association with Croydon Council via their education remit of the time. Lucy Blows, our tutor, regularly took the group through its paces, with various exercises, vocal and otherwise. At some point, it was decided to run a series of improvisations based on a theme of witches and witchcraft. Members went away and did research, returning with choice morsels of information culled from actual books (we were decades away from Wikipedia) and gradually, over a period, a series of sketches, skits and monologues were developed.

Having got this far, the next logical thing to do was give it an audience. There wasn’t really the confidence in it to go truly public, but for one evening, we would put the revue on the stage and run it as a proper performance in front of an audience of interested individuals, related to the group at one level or another. It was more of a social event than a real show, but honour would be served.

Records are few. No posters or programmes ever existed. Memories are hazy. There was definitely a sketch involving a shop where Paul Ford came to purchase items relating to witchcraft from shopkeeper Simeon Dawes. And Paul and Simeon were involved in a musical sketch alongside Simeon’s brother Jonathan on bass guitar and Lee Wilkinson on ‘backing vocals’, playing a version (with reworked lyrics) of the little-known Bacharach and David song, ‘My Little Red Book’. Paul, on lead vocals, was holding a ‘voodoo doll’ which when he moved it, had Lee mirroring the move, culminating in the doll being thrown over Paul’s shoulder, and Lee doing his best to mimic the action.

More music was provided by Wendy Cole on violin and Mark Taylor on piano, as they gave us a rendition of “The Devil Went Down To Georgia” originally by the Charlie Daniels Band. Martin Cole provided the vocals. Mark Taylor also remembers writing a song for the show that was possibly entitled ‘We Duck Them and Flog Them’, with at least half a mind as to what might happen if an unfortunate singer fell victim to spoonerism. No memory or record exists that the song was actually performed, but clearly it should have been, no matter what the risk.

Richard Lloyd regaled us with a tale of the unsolved murder of Charlie Walton back in 1945. Bludgeoned and hacked to death in a field in the shadow of Meon Hill, Stratford, in mysterious circumstances, the whole affair was shrouded in rumours of witchcraft. Was Walton himself a witch? The village never said a word…

Simeon also undertook a reinterpretation of the prophecies of Nostradamus, proving that the 16th Century seer had somehow foreseen the rise of English football teams in the European Cup. Or rather, you can pretty much interpret them any way you like.

If anyone reading this took part and remembers other aspects, or has photos, then please let us know.