The Ladykillers

When Mrs Wilberforce puts an advert in the local newsagent’s window to rent out her guest bedrooms, the last thing she expects is to be overrun by a group of enthusiastic, if eccentric, amateur musicians. But despite the constant sound of a string quartet filling the house, Professor Marcus and his friends The Major, Harry, Louis and ‘One-Round’ are not what they seem, and soon she finds herself dragged into the Professor’s scheme to pull off a violent robbery. With the police unaware, only Mrs Wilberforce and her parrot, General Gordon, stand between the five desperate criminals and their ill-gotten £200,000.

Will she see justice done? Or will they keep the ‘old girl’ quiet…permanently?

Who will be forced to face the music?

November 1956. It’s over 11 years since the end of the Second World War and Britain is still coming to terms with its new position in the world. The Empire is no more, and in an attempt to restore some national pride and underline an intent to remain a major player on the global stage, Prime Minister Anthony Eden is about to launch an invasion of Egypt to recover the Suez Canal. At home, the rationing introduced in 1939 only finished a year ago, and our austerity struck country still bears the scars of the war it supposedly won, with large sections of blitz-hit London remaining derelict. But the mood is upbeat. The early strains of rock ‘n’ roll are filtering across the Atlantic and with that, the seeds of teenage ‘rebellion’. James Dean and Marilyn Monroe, Rock Hudson, Doris Day and Yul Brynner are the Hollywood stars of the day. An 18 year old Bobby Charlton scored on his debut for Manchester United just three weeks ago and the Melbourne Summer Olympics start later this month.

This is the world of The Ladykillers.

Originally a film made by Ealing Studios and released in 1955, it starred Alec Guinness as ‘Professor’ Marcus, with a young Peter Sellers as Harry and Herbert Lom as Louis.  A largely unsuccessful remake starring Tom Hanks as Marcus, with the action moved to Mississippi, came out in 2004. Graham Linehan, who had already been successful in writing for television with such programmes as ‘Father Ted, ‘Black Books’ and ‘The IT Crowd’ wrote this theatre adaptation in 2011, and after debuting in Liverpool, the production went on to a successful and extended run at the Gielgud Theatre in London’s West End starring Peter Capaldi as ‘Professor’Marcus.

Interestingly, there is a theory that the story of The Ladykillers is more than simply a black comedy, and holds a mirror up to the times it was set in. Thus Mrs Wilberforce is the embodiment of Britannia, an aging defender of proper British values, while her house is the Empire, ramshackle and falling apart, full of the memories of one-time glories now faded. Arrayed against her are the con-man ‘Major’ representing the British ruling classes, with pill-popping wide-boy Harry as dissolute youth, punch-drunk ‘One-Round’ as the oafish masses and knife-wielding Louis the dangerous immigrant. Where ‘Professor’ Marcus fits in, the theory doesn’t say. Perhaps he represents intellectuals, pseudo-intellectuals, academics or even politicians. You can make up your own mind.

Graham Linehan sees it as demonstrating that even the worst of men have a little good in them…and that it is this that ultimately dooms them.Whatever its deeper meanings, if it has them, The Ladykillers is a classic black comedy. Enjoy.

 

The Merry Ballad of Robin Hood

Gracious princesses, noble lords, benevolent kings and daring outlaws…

…do not appear anywhere in this show. But we do have a pantomime cow, a girl dressed as a boy and a man in a dress, because this is panto, but not as you know it!

The King of England has a problem. He’s late for the Crusades; but his real problem is that he needs to find someone to look after his wilful daughter, the Princess Marian, while he’s away knocking holes in the Holy Land.

The Princess Marian has a problem. Her father the king keeps threatening to marry her off to one of his useless Lords; but her real problem is that she’s just been dumped in Nottingham, a damp, run-down back-water run by the mean-spirited Sheriff.

The Sheriff of Nottingham has a problem. Actually he has lots of problems, but the biggest one is that he’s broke. All of his money has been stolen by a gang of thieves and robbers calling themselves the Merry Men, led by Robin Hood.

Robin Hood has a problem. No-one understands him. His interior designer is obsessed with leopard print and his Merry Men are entirely too merry; but his real problem is that he’s a man with ambition stuck in a mouldy, smelly, flea-pit of a forest.

The Bursar has a problem. But who cares?

How will all this be resolved, and how can we fit it all into just two acts along with a custard pie fight and a quiver full of songs? There’s only one way to find out…

In an all-new pantomime written by Sean Young, we finally discover the truth about the most famous outlaw in history, Robin Hood, as well as his arch-enemy the Sheriff of Nottingham and his ‘true love’, Maid Marian. Short on arrows, big on custard pies, with more strolling minstrels than you can shake a quarterstaff at, this comic re-telling of the legend ‘bardly’ goes where no panto has gone before!

Radio Days – The Golden Age of Wireless

 

This year marks the 70th anniversary of the launch of the BBC’s Light Programme in 1945, which went on to provide such iconic entertainment throughout the late 1940’s and 50’s. With just the spoken word, some music and a few choice sound effects, the listener could be transported anywhere. All they needed was a little imagination. Adventure tales such as ‘Dick Barton – Special Agent’ and ‘Journey into Space’, comedy from ‘The Goons’ and ‘Hancock’s Half Hour’ and serials like ‘The Archers’ attracted millions of listeners.

As a tribute to those classic shows, we’ve put together an evening of light entertainment using the same principles. Some drama, some comedy, all linked together with music from the period.  And this format has given us an excellent platform to showcase some of TWC’s newer and/or previously untapped talents. The show has been written or adapted, with two small exceptions, by ourselves. For Joe Wilson and Sean Young it’s the first time they’ll have seen something they’ve written come to life on stage.  They’ve directed them too.  And it may be their first writing, but it won’t be their last.

So tune in to Theatre Workshop Coulsdon this March, and be transported back to a time when a young Princess Elizabeth was about to become Queen, the British Empire still covered the pages of your school atlas in pink, Dan Dare was the pilot of the future, and Dick Barton was Britain’s finest secret agent. In the post-war years, before the real coming of television, families would gather around the wireless to be informed, educated and above all, entertained. A magic combination of sound, music, voice and a sense of wonder spirited the listening nation to far-off lands, distant times or sometimes just around the corner. Bold adventure and stirring drama rubbed shoulders with surreal comedy. TWC’s ‘Radio Days’ is an affectionate recreation of those golden years of British radio, showcasing a series of short plays evoking the atmosphere of those times, with live music and live sound effects. An evening of laughter, songs and suspense*. Come along, and bring your imagination with you…

*See the Radio Times for details (a pre-1957 edition that is).

‘Slaves of the Sultan’ by Richard Lloyd

‘Wrong Number’ adapted by Paul M Ford from a script by Don Negri

‘The Night Mail’ by W H Auden

‘The Crossroads’ adapted by Richard Lloyd from an original US Radio script

‘Reginald Rare – Rocketeer Extraordinaire! (In the 21st Century)’ by Sean Young

Agatha Christie’s ‘The Lamp’ adapted by Paul M Ford from a 1933 short story

‘Murder at Monford Manor – A Harrison Harrison Mystery’ by Joe Wilson

‘The Weather Forecast’ by Les Barker

The Producers

 

The Producers was Mel Brooks’ first ever movie back in 1968. Starring Zero Mostel as Max and Gene Wilder as Leo, it became both a cult and a commercial success, and Brooks even picked up an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. An improbable hit as a movie, it was an even less likely one as a Broadway musical, which Brooks did in 2001. A byword for tongue-in-cheek bad taste, it became the most successful Broadway show of all time, winning a record breaking 12 Tony awards and running for more than 2,500 performances over six years. And then art imitated art, as a movie of the musical based on a movie came out in 2005, starring Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick and Uma Thurman.

Born into a German Jewish family who fled the Nazis in the 1930’s, Mel Brooks was uniquely qualified to poke merciless fun at the Third Reich. Frankly, it’s impossible to believe that anyone without his background could have got away with it. Then again, the whole premise of a couple of Jewish con-men staging a sure-fire Broadway flop based on a camp musical about Adolf Hitler is so absurd, it would be difficult for anyone to take genuine offence. Besides, Brooks has many targets for his satire in The Producers – not least the whole shallow pretentious ‘bubble’ of Broadway itself. (Which is rather ironic, as it turns out, given the huge success of the show.)

The Producers is an extraordinary musical. Set in New York in 1959, the one-time ‘King of Broadway’, Max Bialystock, sees his latest show ‘Funny Boy’ close after just one night. Down and out, dependent on playing the aging lothario to wealthy but very elderly spinsters and widows, Max is thrown a lifeline back to success and the high life in the unlikely form of timorous accountant, Leo Bloom. Bloom discovers that a flop show can make more money than a hit, and so the two set out to lie, cheat and schmooze their way to a million bucks by staging a sure-fire Broadway flop – the worst taste musical ever written: ‘Springtime For Hitler’. The rest is showbiz history. Bursting with laugh-out-loud jokes and outrageously funny musical numbers, The Producers is pure, unadulterated joy.

Now it’s fair to say that Theatre Workshop Coulsdon are not, first and foremost, a musical group. But we do like projects that are a bit unexpected. So we’ve rescued ‘The Producers’ from the cold dead clutches of of the light-operatic am-dram circuit, and given it the down-and-dirty TWC makeover it deserves. We aren’t dancers, we aren’t singers. We don’t have the required 37-piece orchestra. But we do have a bunch of talented musicians and chutzpah to spare, and what could be more in keeping with the spirit of Mel Brooks than that? We hope you enjoy the show!

 

The Whispering Wood

Welcome to the Whispering Wood.

In our performance tonight, it’s a clearing where two bands of roving actors meet, and find themselves competing to tell the best tale. In real life, it reflects an age-old English tradition of travelling theatre that we’ve supported for the last twenty years, entertaining people from Coulsdon and beyond with our open air productions. This isn’t the first time we’ve performed folk and fairy-tale based plays, having previously stage ‘Grimm Tales’ in 2003 and ‘More Grimm Tales’ in 2006. But many of tonight’s stories will probably be less familiar to you. Our author, Lucy-Ann Martin, has always been fascinated by folk tales, and she spent a year reading several hundred of them from cultures all over the globe, while travelling the world herself. She then collected her favourites and ended up with more than sixty possible tales to included in a performance. We’ve whittled these down to the final dozen or so stories that we’ll perform for you this evening. They come from all over the planet. Some are many hundreds of years old, some are far more recent, but what is amazing is just how universal the themes are.

Storytelling is a skill and a challenge we relish, and the perfect way (we thought!) to make sure the production was truly innovative was to arrange the telling of the tales as being part of a competition. The Great North Players taking on the Little Sackville Players, each trying their utmost to amuse and entertain you and ultimately gain your favour. A vote for whichever group of players did best will take place at the end of the evening, and you, the audience, will decide the outcome!

First a few thanks though. To Jeannie Lewis, who has for the second year running led the choice and arrangement of all the live music you’ll hear tonight. She and her husband Keith will be playing live at every performance, along with Simeon Dawes and Ryan Newby, just as musicians would have done in times long past. Thanks too for Jenny Moorcroft who designed the programme for us. And finally thanks to you, the audience, for coming and supporting us. Every play is a contract between the audience and the actors, this one a little more explicitly than most, perhaps. And we sincerely hope you enjoy it!

 

Catch 22

Yossarian had decided to live forever. Or die in the attempt…

Having just survived yet another murderous air raid into occupied France, bombardier Yossarian decides that the enemy isn’t just the Germans. It’s anyone who’s going to get him killed, no matter which side they’re on. If he can just get himself declared insane, he won’t have to fly any more.

Trouble is, he’s the sanest man on the base…

The original novel focused on the lives of a large number of different airmen as they try to survive both the war and the bureaucratic nightmare they find themselves in. Heller’s own stage adaptation brings the focus in more tightly on Yossarian, and as a result a number of popular characters (Orr, Dobbs, Hungry Joe, Sammy Singer and Chief White Halfoat, as examples) don’t make it into this version. However, the key themes of sanity and insanity, the power and absurdity of bureaucracy, the amorality of capitalism and the shifting definition of heroism remain. In the struggle of the central character against an illogical, intractable and unfair system, there are obvious parallels with Kafka’s ‘The Trial’ which TWC presented in the Spring of 2013.

Like John Yossarian, author Joseph Heller was a bombardier, flying B-25 Mitchell bombers based in Italy during World War II. He started to write ‘Catch 22’ in 1953, but it took him eight years to finish it. Published in the US in 1961, it was only a moderate success, but it became a bestseller in the UK and when the paperback version came out the following year it became a phenomenon, and throughout the 1960s its anti-war stance chimed with the rise of a youth culture embittered by the Vietnam war. The book royalties and movie rights (a film with Alan Arkin, Art Garfunkel and Orson Welles was released in 1970) made Heller a millionaire. In later life it was put to him that he’d never written anything better than ‘Catch 22’ subsequently. His response was a simple ‘Who has?’.

Catch-22 specified that the concern for one’s own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. If you were crazy, you could be grounded. All you have to do was ask; but as soon as you did, you would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. You would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if you didn’t, but if you were sane, you had to fly them. If you flew them, you were crazy and didn’t have to; but if you didn’t want to, you were sane and had to.

Twelfth Night – The Panto

We’re sticking to a Shakespearean theme for Christmas, with another original TWC panto, this time based (very loosely) on “Twelfth Night”, but with added slapstick, men dressed as women (dressed as men), “oh no it isn’t”, and “oh yes it is”. It’s a riotously funny pantomime full of unexpected twists and turns. Forget Illyria – a freak storm blows a day-trip to Boulogne way off course. Six months later it’s shipwrecked on the coast of Australia. Auntie Podees and her niece, Sheila, have to find work disguised as men to earn their passage back to Coulsdon. Meanwhile, Lord Sydney Opera-House unsuccessfully pursues the love of his life, Lady Alice-Springs (most beautiful lady in the world – and incidentally, the wealthiest). Can Sheila help? Will the principal boys win the hearts of the principal girls? Will the barbie be a success? Are there any gags about Aussies we haven’t plundered and mercilessly exploited? And will the three witches be too evil to be allowed onstage and exiled forever to make tea and serve mince pies? To find the answers to these and many other mosquitoes (sorry, misquotes) don’t miss Coulsdon’s bonza pantomime, a show so big, it needs two dames…

As You Like It

Ever been young and in love? Shakespeare must have been, because this is a play that understands the sheer giddy joy of love, and the desperate lengths it can drive us to. ‘As You Like It’ is sometimes seen as a counterpoint to ‘Romeo and Juliet’ – love as comedy rather than tragedy. Rosalind is certainly no pale and wan Juliet, but arguably Shakespeare’s most memorable heroine. She has more lines than Juliet, Cleopatra, Beatrice and Portia, any of them. Maybe Shakespeare was just a little in love with his own creation. And who could blame him? She’s the kind of girl you’d want to spend time with, vital; brave; clever; funny and devoted. Oh, a bit of a liability too, of course, but fun to be around.

So, what’s the story? Well, firstly, there are two Dukes. The ‘good’ Duke, called Senior, has been toppled from power by his very own brother, the ‘bad’ Duke, Ferdinand. Senior is then exiled to the nearby Forest of Arden, where he seems to enjoy a carefree life hunting, shooting, fishing and singing. It seems that banishment has been more of a blessing than a curse. Meanwhile his brother’s court is an altogether darker place, full of gossip, scheming and suspicion. Now, each of the Dukes has a daughter, and the two girls are inseparable friends. It’s this that has initially prevented Rosalind from being exiled along with her father, but when Ferdinand finally casts her out, both she and Ferdinand’s daughter Celia run away. Of course, by this point, love has raised its head, and Rosalind has fallen for Orlando, a young man at court being persecuted by his less than pleasant older brother. Thankfully, he’s in love with her too, so when she leaves court for the Forest, he follows. However, Rosalind has now disguised herself a boy, calling herself ‘Ganymede’, and it’s in this form that Orlando finds her and in classic style, doesn’t recognise her. To make things more convoluted, Sylvius the shepherd boy is besotted with Phoebe, who in turn only has eyes for Ganymede!

Themes such as the liberating power of love, sibling rivalry and restitution, the healing force of nature and the simple pleasures of country life are all explored here, despite the plot being frankly ludicrous at times. And there’s a happy ending. Several in fact, as brothers are no longer at odds, lovers have put aside disguise and all is well. Except perhaps for Jaques, who has been melancholy throughout and decides ultimately to go off and be miserable in a monastery. You can’t please everyone.

The text has been trimmed in TWC’s version. Many topical gags that no doubt had them rolling in the groundlings back in 1599 are now impenetrable, and worse, not funny. If you’re a purist, prepare for disappointment, but it’s for the greater good.

There are more songs in ‘As You Like It’ than any other Shakespeare play. We’ve kept them and set them to traditional tunes. One of them, ‘What Shall He have That Killed The Deer’, shares many of its lyrics with ‘Hal-An’Tow’, the traditional Cornish May song. The version here is an amalgam of the two, complete with its reference to defeating the Spanish Armada, which at the time the play was first performed had happened just ten years previously. Many thanks are due to Jeannie Lewis who led the arrangement of all the songs and incidental music, and with the other musicians will be playing live on stage throughout the run of the show.

The Fairytale of New York

Melodrama, magic and mystery set in the riotous world of 1930’s Vaudeville.

A festive treat with a difference. A dash of ‘Annie’, a twist of ‘Cabaret’, and great big helpings of melodrama, mystery and rip-snorting comedy. Plus some of the greatest songs from the shows you could ever wish for. A great family entertainment for all ages.Macey Maguire has a dream – she’s going to make it big on Broadway. Arriving penniless in New York, Macey gets a break at Delancey’s, the city’s last Vaudeville theater. Soon she’s rubbing shoulders with the troupe of variety artists who ply their trade in the old music hall. But the public’s appetite for burlesque is on the wane, the theater’s finances are on the rocks, and the entertainers are squabbling like rats in a sack. Organised crime wants the real estate the theater’s built on, and worse still, members of the company keep disappearing into thin air… And nobody – not the theater management nor the New York Police Department – can figure out where they go. But they’ve all reckoned without Macey Maguire…

The Return Of The Three Musketeers

Twenty years on from his greatest adventure, D’Artagnan is disillusioned. Still only a lowly-paid lieutenant in the musketeers, his friends long gone, forgotten by the powerful people he once rescued from death and dishonour. But where once he saved a queen, a chance turn of events gives D’Artagnan the opportunity to save a King, and a King of England at that! But he can’t do it alone. Can he recruit his old comrades Porthos, Athos and Aramis from retirement? And can they save themselves from the vengeful agent of death that follows their every move?

Freely adapted from Alexandre Dumas’ own stirring Musketeers sequel ‘Twenty Years After’, this is a colourful new story of swashbuckling high adventure, fun and derring-do!

All for one, and one for all, once more!

There are two stories to be told here. One is the best part of two hundred years old, the other just sixteen.

1844. The French author Alexandre Dumas published ‘The Three Musketeers’ as a serial in a magazine. It was an immediate success, and a sequel came out a year later, and a third and final instalment two years after that. ‘The Three Musketeers’ seized the public’s imagination and to one degree or another, has continued to do so ever since.

The four great friends, Athos, Porthos, Aramis and the younger D’Artagnan became over the course of the books embroiled in plots and plans that changed history. Dumas was an avid historian and liked to show off to his readers how much he knew. Mind you, that didn’t stop him riding rough-shod over history when it suited the story!

It’s arguably the most successful piece of French literature ever. (Let’s draw a discreet veil over ‘Les Miserables’ please) There have been movies (lots of them, the first in 1903, the last one just last year), musicals (one part-written by P G Wodehouse of all people) and operas, television series and even cartoons. (those of a certain age may fondly remember ‘Dogtanian and the Three Muskehounds’ though others might run screaming from the room…) One such version was a play written by Willis Hall, which caught the eye of Theatre Workshop Coulsdon founder member and director Chris Argles.

1996, and TWC first comes to grips with the original action-heroes. Richard Lloyd played Athos, Mike Brown was Porthos and I played Aramis. We swashed buckles, waved swords and saved the day. Mike even ran across the stage naked (except for a large musketeer hat!) but only of course because the script demanded it… His grandmother was never quite the same after seeing it!

2011. We’re looking for a follow-up to the open-air success of ‘The Canterbury Tales’. ‘The Three Musketeers’ is suggested, but we really don’t want to revisit the same script because, well, we’ve done it before. Why don’t we do the sequel? Because no-one’s written one. ‘I’ll write one’ says I. The fact I’ve never written a play in my life before seemingly not a stumbling block. Ahem.

2012. Here we are. The play is written, we’ve taken the same three actors to play the original Three Musketeers, and that’s deliberate. The sequel to the first book was called ‘Twenty Years After’ and it’s not far off that between our productions. We’re all older. Probably a bit slower and a bit heavier, maybe even a little wiser. But are we growing old gracefully? Are the Musketeers? Probably not. But is that a bad thing? I don’t think so. Oh, and a note for any Dumas purists out there. I have taken huge liberties with the book. And if you have a problem with that, I’ll meet you outside…with my three friends! All for one, and one for all!