The Canterbury Tales (2011)

It is the 14th Century, and in the bustling courtyard of The Tabard Inn, Southwark, men and women from all walks of life gather for a pilgrimage to the cathedral at Canterbury. Friars and priests, pardoners and summoners, millers and good wives. In order to entertain these good folk, the host of the inn asks that each traveller tells a story as they make their way across Kent. And so they, and we, begin our journey.

In this joyous adaptation of Geoffrey Chaucer’s classic work by Richard Lloyd, Theatre Workshop Coulsdon present six of the best and most colourful tales, creating an exuberant and and often hilarious portrait of ordinary folk preoccupied with petty jealousies, mundane squabbles and simple pleasures. Bold and often bawdy, these tales bring home vividly just how little the English people have really changed over the last six hundred years!

The stories presented are The Nun’s Priest’s Tale, The Wife of Bath’s Tale, The Friar’s Tale, The Pardoner’s Tale, The Miller’s Tale and The Reeves Tale, neatly wrapped in an engaging background as host and landlord Harry Bailey attempts to maintain order amongst his boisterous and often wayward charges.

Chaucer (1343 – 1400) is widely considered to be the greatest English poet of the Middle Ages, and was the first poet to be buried in Poet’s Corner at Westminster Abbey. While he achieved fame during his lifetime as an author, philosopher, alchemist and astronomer, Chaucer also maintained an active career in the civil service as a bureaucrat, diplomat and courtier. His many works include ‘The Book of the Duchess’, ‘The House of Fame’, ‘The Legend of Good Women’ and ‘Troilus and Criseyde’, but it is ‘The Canterbury Tales’, in which he uses the tales to paint an ironic and critical picture of English society, for which he will always be remembered.

Much Ado About Nothing (2015)

The path of true love proves to be anything but smooth for not one but two sets of star-crossed lovers in ‘Much Ado About Nothing’, one of Shakespeare’s most romantic, yet comedic tales. For young Claudio and his lady Hero, their happiness is threatened by the Machiavellian scheming of the plain-dealing villain, Don John. For self-professed lifelong batchelor Benedict and the independently minded and sharp-tongued Beatrice, the biggest obstacles are…themselves!

By turns funny, touching, heart-breaking and hilarious, ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ is the perfect way to spend an English Summer evening.

Leonato, a kindly, respectable nobleman, lives in the Italian town of Messina. He shares his villa with his lovely young daughter, Hero, his clever but cynical niece, Beatrice, and his elderly brother, Antonio. As the play begins, Leonato prepares to welcome his good friend, Don Pedro, home from war. Don Pedro, a prince, is accompanied by two friends and fellow soldiers: Claudio, a well-respected young nobleman, and Benedick, a joker who delights in teasing his colleagues. With them too comes Don John, Don Pedro’s illegitimate brother, a sullen, spiteful individual who resents others’ happiness.

After the soldiers arrive, Claudio swiftly falls in love with Hero, while Benedick and Beatrice resume the war of words that they have carried on with each other for years. Claudio and Hero pledge their love to one another and decide to be married. But to pass the days before the wedding, the lovers and their friends decide to trick Beatrice and Benedick, who are obviously meant for each other, into falling in love.

However,  Don John intends to spoil everything. He plots with his followers Borachio and Conrade to ruin Hero’s reputation. And taken in by the treacherous scheme, an enraged Claudio humiliates Hero at the wedding by accusing her of lechery and abandoning her at the altar. Horrified, Hero’s family pretend that she has died of shock and grief and hide her away. Fortunately, a passing watch patrol overhear Borachio drunkenly bragging about his misdeeds to Conrade. Dogberry and Verges, the bumbling heads of the local watch, eventually arrest them and drag them in front of the local magistrate, Leonato. The truth of Don John’s plot is thus revealed, and Claudio and Don Pedro, who believe Hero is dead, are grief stricken.

Leonato tells Claudio that, as a penance for his misjudgement, he must marry his brother  Antonio’s daughter — a girl who, he says, looks much like the dead Hero. Claudio goes to church with the others, solemnly prepared to do his duty and marry the mysterious, masked woman he finds there. But when the masked woman reveals herself to be Hero, Claudio is overwhelmed with joy and all is forgiven.

Benedick then asks Beatrice if she will marry him, and after some verbal sparring,  she agrees. The joyful lovers then celebrate with a double wedding as Don John, who had attempted to escape, is dragged back to face his half-brother’s justice.

The Adventures of Jason and the Argonauts

The legends of Ancient Greece have continued to weave their magic through our imaginations for over two thousand years. The capricious Gods and Goddesses of Mount Olympus playing with the fates of ordinary mortals for both good and ill. But from the ranks of those mortals came the fabled heroes, those who rose to the challenges and won out despite all. Odysseus taking on the mighty one-eyed giant Cyclops. Theseus defeating the monstrous Minotaur in the labyrinth of Crete. Jason and his Argonauts travelling far and risking everything in search of the Golden Fleece.

This last provides the basis for our winter production. But don’t worry, you won’t need a degree in the classics to work out what’s going on. This is a very loose interpretation of the myths handed down over the centuries. Jason and Medea are two mixed-up kids, an orphan and a runaway, who suddenly find themselves tasked with overthrowing the evil tyrant King Pelias. With a certain amount of divine intervention, Jason becomes the captain of the mighty ‘Argo’, a ship capable of crossing the uncharted seas, with a crew of oddball heroes including the world’s strongest (and possibly clumsiest) man, a wonderful woman warrior, a resting rock star, the least identical twins ever and a seriously streetwise cat. Now he must set off and find the Golden Fleece. If only he knew what it was. And then there are the challenges. The man-eating Harpies of Lemnos, the terrible Clashing Rocks, the fire-breathing Great Bull of Colchis, the evil Dragon Snake and Talos, the bronze giant. (Who might just be a really cool sock puppet.) Not to mention The Sirens…

Medea, Jason and his misfit Argonauts are here this December to have fun. This will be no ordinary adventure tale, but one with songs and laughter, and we’ll be encouraging you to join in, whether you’re five or sixty five. Ever fancied rowing the Argo? You’ll get your chance. Become part of the undead army of skeleton warriors? Oh yes.

The award-winning author of ‘Jason and the Argonauts’, Phil Willmott, is mainly famous around these parts for his creation of the hilariously stiff upper-lipped ‘Dick Barton – Special Agent’ spoofs that were so much a part of the sadly demised Warehouse Theatre in Croydon. But he’s written, adapted and directed numerous productions, many derived from classical sources, and we’re more than pleased to link up with him again.

A Christmas Carol (2023)

The Past Is Forfeit. The Future In Peril. The Present In The Balance. All That Matters Is Now.

It’s Christmas Eve! A time for joyful anticipation, celebration and goodwill to all!

Perhaps not all. To the poor and the hungry in Victorian London, Christmas Day is just another day to struggle through. And for Ebenezer Scrooge it’s a day lost, with business left undone and money misspent. Happy Christmas? Bah, Humbug! But tonight, at midnight, Scrooge will be forced to confront the choices he has made, the opportunities he’s missed and the bleak future that lies ahead, unless he can change…

Although Charles Dickens wrote many classic stories, from Oliver Twist to Great Expectations, there is surely no tale of his more famous, or heart-warming, than ‘A Christmas Carol’. Written in 1843, Dickens paints his protagonist in dreary colours. Ebeneezer Scrooge is a mean-spirited, grasping and bitter individual, shorn of all the things that make a life worth living by choice. Though wealthy, his existence is impoverished, begrudging spending his hard earned coin on anything that might provide a crumb of comfort, either to himself or those around him. He treats his employee with disdain, his nephew as a fool. But on one Christmas Eve, he is forced to look hard at what he has done with his life, and what his actions have meant for others. Three spirits, the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future, show Ebeneezer where he has come from, where he is now, and the cold, unloved end of his days on the path he is destined to take. Will he change his ways? Can he change?

A time-honoured story of redemption, with love, laughter, song and a warmth to melt even the meanest misers’ heart, Theatre Workshop Coulsdon is proud to present ‘A Christmas Carol’.

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon is also pleased to be able to partner with the Purley Food Hub for this production. Dickens was very much a social reformer and the plight of families and children with little food, especially at Christmas, was a source of concern reflected in his writings and emphasised in this version of his story. A Purley Food Hub collection point for voluntary food donations will be set up at the Coulson Community Centre for the duration of the run of the show, from December 9 through to December 17.

Come along, enjoy the show and perhaps make Christmas a little better for someone else too.

The Tempest

Torn from the sky!

Returning to its homeland from a royal wedding in distant Tunis, the ‘Napoli Rex’, flagship of the King of Naples’ airfleet, is pulled from the sky by a violent and unnatural storm.

The survivors find themselves scattered across a barren island populated with magical creatures and spirits, fearing for their very lives.  And behind this seeming disaster is Prospero, an exiled sorcerer seeking vengeance…

Shakespeare’s final play is his crowning glory, a tale of magic, love, humour and redemption.

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon have placed ‘The Tempest’ in a steampunk-flavoured Victorian age, where the might of an industrial revolution with its airships, guns and steam-power is confronted with forces beyond its wildest imagining…

Years ago, Prospero forsook his duties as the Duke of Milan to study the arcane arts. With his attention elsewhere, he was unprepared for the coup that saw him dragged from his position and sent out to die alongside his baby daughter, Miranda. By merest chance they survived, crash-landing on a remote and barren island in the Mediterranean, and with the help of two servants, the sprite Ariel and the twisted creature that is Caliban, Prospero lived on and plotted revenge. Now chance again plays into his hands, as those he would mete out vengeance to have been driven to the island by a tempest, their airship torn from the skies and the passengers and crew thrown down. However, he has reckoned without Miranda (now grown to womanhood) and her response to these strange new visitors, one of whom she falls in love with…

Shakespeare’s last play is here transported to a neo-Victorian setting, played out in the traverse among the broken spars and debris of his downed airship, the ‘Milano’. Prospero’s sorcery here vies with magic lanterns and steam-powered pistols in a unique take on the bard’s farewell to the stage.

The Snow Queen

Kai and Gerda have been friends all their lives. So when Kai is stolen away from their village by the dreaded Snow Queen, Gerda sets out to bring him back, despite the impossible odds. Across frozen lands where the Snow Queen and her dark companion Jack Frost are increasing their icy grip, brave Gerda makes her way north, encountering friends, foes and the fantastic. But nothing will stop her finding Kai. Nothing can break the bonds of true friendship.

Written by Lucy-Ann Martin, adapted from the classic fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen, this delightful and uplifting tale is a magical adventure for all ages.

Fall under the spell of the Snow Queen this winter….

Dick Barton and the Slaves of the Sultan

Good evening. This is the BBC Light Programme broadcasting from London. It’s 6.45 and time for the next thrilling episode of Dick Barton and the Slaves of The Sultan’!”

When Dick Barton, Boy’s Own adventurer, all-English hero and teatime wireless star, is called upon by MI5 to track down a wealthy socialite missing off the Horn of Africa, little does he know the can of worms he’s about to open. Before you can say ‘I say, that’s not cricket!’ our hero is mixed up in a fiendish foreign plot to seize control of our upright and principled British armaments industry. Good heavens!

With his loyal working class sidekicks, Jock and Snowy, by his side, Barton sallies forth encountering a nefarious criminal syndicate called the X Faction; an hypnotic femme fatale; and a run-in with that other national treasure, Squadron Leader James ‘Biggles’ Bigglesworth of the Special Air Police.

Will Barton, side-parting and moral certainty intact, win the day through British pluck and determination? Will gorgeous heiress, Felicity Buff-Orpington, escape the steamy seraglio of Zanzibar; and if she does, will the pure un-distilled manliness of the Barton ideal wilt in the face of her manifold charms? Or will assorted foreign Johnnies and homegrown villains consign Barton to an improbable cliffhanger ending from which there can be no possible escape?!

There’s only one way to find out, tune in to the next exciting instalment of: ‘Dick Barton, Special Agent…’

 

 

Radio Days Transmission Two : The War Years

After the success of our first Radio Days showcase in 2015, set in the golden days of wireless broadcasting, we’re leaping aboard our dramatic time machine and going back still further.

Transmission Two : The War Years sees us clutching our gas masks and ration books, with one ear listening to the radio and the other waiting for the air raid siren. A collection of songs, sketches and playlets, from the deadly serious to the downright funny, and all inspired by the period, means an excellent evening of new yet nostalgic entertainment for everyone.

So on with your siren suits, use gravy browning and an eye pencil if you can’t afford nylons, and make your way with care through the black-out to Coulsdon Community Centre. And put that light out!

On the BBC Home Service tonight, the following schedule will be broadcast on 668 kHz (South) and 767 kHz (North).

Welcome to tonight’s show.  Like our previous ‘Radio Days’ presentation back in 2015, this is very much a project that attempts to achieve a number of different goals. On one level we will try to evoke some of the feeling of living and surviving through the turbulent times of the Second World War. There was danger, but there was also community as people worked, and played, together to get through the storm. And a sense of humour was one of the strongest defences against a sea of troubles, from rationing, shortages and petty bureaucracy to death and loss.

On another level, this is a grand experiment, harking back to the early days of Theatre Workshop Coulsdon. All of the pieces you’ll see on stage tonight were written or adapted by members of the group. For some it’s their first time attempt at creative writing. It’s a big leap. And we’re very proud of what they’ve achieved. Almost nothing had been written when we started our rehearsals and workshops in January.  Each short play has evolved over the last three months, some easily and with grace, some more awkwardly, in fits and starts. But they are ready now, and all represent time, effort and imagination on the part of not just the writer but all the people at Workshop who’ve contributed ideas. This has been very much a team effort.

And let’s not forget the music. We have some glorious songs and voices for you tonight, accompanied by our ‘BBC Very Light Orchestra’, three talented, creative and endlessly patient musicians.

So close your eyes and be taken back in time again. And enjoy.

Warning. We are expecting atmospheric disturbances during latter part of this broadcast, which may interrupt the programme. We do hope your enjoyment won’t be too badly affected.

The Producers

 

The Producers was Mel Brooks’ first ever movie back in 1968. Starring Zero Mostel as Max and Gene Wilder as Leo, it became both a cult and a commercial success, and Brooks even picked up an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. An improbable hit as a movie, it was an even less likely one as a Broadway musical, which Brooks did in 2001. A byword for tongue-in-cheek bad taste, it became the most successful Broadway show of all time, winning a record breaking 12 Tony awards and running for more than 2,500 performances over six years. And then art imitated art, as a movie of the musical based on a movie came out in 2005, starring Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick and Uma Thurman.

Born into a German Jewish family who fled the Nazis in the 1930’s, Mel Brooks was uniquely qualified to poke merciless fun at the Third Reich. Frankly, it’s impossible to believe that anyone without his background could have got away with it. Then again, the whole premise of a couple of Jewish con-men staging a sure-fire Broadway flop based on a camp musical about Adolf Hitler is so absurd, it would be difficult for anyone to take genuine offence. Besides, Brooks has many targets for his satire in The Producers – not least the whole shallow pretentious ‘bubble’ of Broadway itself. (Which is rather ironic, as it turns out, given the huge success of the show.)

The Producers is an extraordinary musical. Set in New York in 1959, the one-time ‘King of Broadway’, Max Bialystock, sees his latest show ‘Funny Boy’ close after just one night. Down and out, dependent on playing the aging lothario to wealthy but very elderly spinsters and widows, Max is thrown a lifeline back to success and the high life in the unlikely form of timorous accountant, Leo Bloom. Bloom discovers that a flop show can make more money than a hit, and so the two set out to lie, cheat and schmooze their way to a million bucks by staging a sure-fire Broadway flop – the worst taste musical ever written: ‘Springtime For Hitler’. The rest is showbiz history. Bursting with laugh-out-loud jokes and outrageously funny musical numbers, The Producers is pure, unadulterated joy.

Now it’s fair to say that Theatre Workshop Coulsdon are not, first and foremost, a musical group. But we do like projects that are a bit unexpected. So we’ve rescued ‘The Producers’ from the cold dead clutches of of the light-operatic am-dram circuit, and given it the down-and-dirty TWC makeover it deserves. We aren’t dancers, we aren’t singers. We don’t have the required 37-piece orchestra. But we do have a bunch of talented musicians and chutzpah to spare, and what could be more in keeping with the spirit of Mel Brooks than that? We hope you enjoy the show!

 

The Whispering Wood

Welcome to the Whispering Wood.

In our performance tonight, it’s a clearing where two bands of roving actors meet, and find themselves competing to tell the best tale. In real life, it reflects an age-old English tradition of travelling theatre that we’ve supported for the last twenty years, entertaining people from Coulsdon and beyond with our open air productions. This isn’t the first time we’ve performed folk and fairy-tale based plays, having previously stage ‘Grimm Tales’ in 2003 and ‘More Grimm Tales’ in 2006. But many of tonight’s stories will probably be less familiar to you. Our author, Lucy-Ann Martin, has always been fascinated by folk tales, and she spent a year reading several hundred of them from cultures all over the globe, while travelling the world herself. She then collected her favourites and ended up with more than sixty possible tales to included in a performance. We’ve whittled these down to the final dozen or so stories that we’ll perform for you this evening. They come from all over the planet. Some are many hundreds of years old, some are far more recent, but what is amazing is just how universal the themes are.

Storytelling is a skill and a challenge we relish, and the perfect way (we thought!) to make sure the production was truly innovative was to arrange the telling of the tales as being part of a competition. The Great North Players taking on the Little Sackville Players, each trying their utmost to amuse and entertain you and ultimately gain your favour. A vote for whichever group of players did best will take place at the end of the evening, and you, the audience, will decide the outcome!

First a few thanks though. To Jeannie Lewis, who has for the second year running led the choice and arrangement of all the live music you’ll hear tonight. She and her husband Keith will be playing live at every performance, along with Simeon Dawes and Ryan Newby, just as musicians would have done in times long past. Thanks too for Jenny Moorcroft who designed the programme for us. And finally thanks to you, the audience, for coming and supporting us. Every play is a contract between the audience and the actors, this one a little more explicitly than most, perhaps. And we sincerely hope you enjoy it!