Francesca Ruggeri – Theatre Workshop Coulsdon

Twelfth Night

‘Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ’em.’ And ‘Twelfth Night’ is surely Shakespeare’s greatest rom-com.

In Illyria, disguised Viola becomes a reluctant go-between in the unrequited courtship of disdainful Lady Olivia by Illyria’s Duke, the lovesick Orsino. This gives rise to perhaps the most famous love triangle in English literature: Uptight Olivia falls madly for the impudent ‘Cesario’; who is desperately in love with wistful romantic Orsino; who is besotted with haughty Olivia. The secondary plot concerns the antics of Olivia’s disreputable uncle, Sir Toby Belch, and his band of ne’er-do-well accomplices from Olivia’s peculiar household. These deplorables embark on a spiteful ruse to humiliate Olivia’s insufferably overstuffed steward, Malvolio, but get their comeuppance when drawn into the Viola / Sebastian mix-ups.

Historical Illyria roughly corresponds to present-day Croatia, but this ostensibly foreign setting (as in most of Shakespeare’s comedies), is not remotely real nor realised. It’s merely a conveniently far-flung land where strange things can happen, yet firmly rooted in a familiar Tudor world of great houses and box hedges, butts of ale and casks of sweet Spanish wine. Shakespeare’s Illyria is clearly within hailing distance of the Thames Watermen, with visitors from Messaline putting up ‘in the south suburbs, at The Elephant’ – as did many visitors to London (hence the Elephant & Castle).

So while Sir Toby Belch and Sir Andrew Aguecheek, a brace of obviously Anglo-Saxon buffoons, rub shoulders with exotically named characters like Orsino, Antonio, and Malvolio, these would all have been instantly recognisable types to the groundlings packed into the playhouse yard of The Rose or The Globe… Orsino, the effete, capricious aristocrat; Antonio, the seaman-adventurer struck from the mould of Hawkins, Drake and Raleigh; and Malvolio, the killjoy puritan stuffed-shirt.

In the interests of duration (about an hour in each half) and clarity, we’ve made some cuts to the text here and there, notably to many of Feste’s extended quips. These were no doubt hugely funny to an Elizabethan audience, but 400 years later many of these jokes, topical references, and allusions to classical mythology have lost all meaning and will simply puzzle a modern-day audience.

Our aim is to present Twelfth Night in the spirit in which we guess it was intended to be played – an exhilarating romantic romp, shot through with a vein of wistful lyricism, full of music and song, and rounded off with a quicksilver exuberance and delight in life.

With more songs than any other Shakespeare play, as Orsino says, ‘If music be the food of love, play on’

Dick Barton and the Carnival of Chaos

“Good evening. This is the BBC Light Programme broadcasting from London. It’s 6.45 and time for the next thrilling episode of ‘Dick Barton and the Carnival of Chaos’!”

Yes, Barton is back, and in his toughest assignment yet!

London. 1949. Wartime rationing remains in force, and only marmalade – that nutritious, morale-boosting foodstuff – continues to fortify our island nation’s grit, spunk, vim and pluck after six long years facing down the Nazi peril.
But now there’s a fiendish foreign conspiracy afoot to kidnap Tiggy Zesty-Peel, heiress to the Zesty-Peel preserves empire, and only Dick Barton can stop it. But who has evil designs on the Marmalade Millionairess? And just what is their nefarious purpose?

Meanwhile, Snowy White and Jock Anderson, Barton’s salt-of-the-earth working class assistants, are each in a jam of their own. Snowy’s been injected with bonobo serum during a brush with a batty Bulgarian ballerina, and has gone more than a little ape. And Jock has fallen for the charms of ex-Nazi filmmaker and flaxen femme fatale, Leni Fuchs.
Throw in the homegrown villainy of the Crayfish Twins (the East End’s favourite lovable cockney mass murderers) and mysterious Italian yoga swami, Contessa Bianca Di Scalzo, and the plot is thicker than a jar of rough-cut.
Can Barton unravel the mystery and save Britain’s marmalade? Or will our favourite spread succumb to the spread of evil? To find out, tune in to the next thrilling instalment of ‘Dick Barton and the Carnival of Chaos’!

Theatre Workshop Coulsdon’s third outing for Dick Barton, Boy’s Own adventurer, all-English hero and teatime wireless star, is another ripping comedy adventure, full of improbable characters, glorious gags, and a cheeky sprinkling of spiffing song and dance numbers. Pip pip!

Reginald Rare – Rocketeer Extraordinaire

‘Reginald Rare – Rocketeer Extraordinaire’, is an affectionate spoof on the classic sci-fi comic strip, ‘Dan Dare – Pilot of the Future’, as created by illustrator Frank Hampson and appeared in the ‘Eagle’ from 1950 through to 1967.

In 1945, WW2 Spitfire ace Squadron Leader Reginald Rare is shot down while on a top secret mission over Germany by a experimental Nazi freeze ray. Awakening after decades of cryogenic suspension, Reg finds himself in the far-flung year 2015, and a world quite unlike his own. Countries and borders are gone, merged into one united World Government. Women and men are equals. Poverty has been eradicated. But the Earth is under threat from the Venereans – fiendish alien overlords of Venus. They’re using a powerful heat ray to cause global warming, and once they’ve destroyed life on Earth, the dastardly Venereans will occupy it as their new home! The trouble is, that Earth gave up war decades ago, and no longer knows how to fight. The newly-promoted head of the armed forces can’t even tell the difference between a set of bagpipes and an instrument of torture! (Hmmm.)

As the only man in the world with combat experience, bravery and a natural air of command unsullied by knowledge or common sense, Reg – a man out of his time in so many ways – is immediately recruited by the Earth’s government to lead a mission to Venus to carry the fight to the enemy. Accompanied by a hand-picked crew of assorted misfits and weirdos (‘Oily’ Wragg, the chief engineer, Bruce McKenzie the Xenobiologist and Giuseppe Bernatelli, the weapons specialist – sorry, chef, as well as the entirely delectable but decidedly feisty physicist and astrogator Dr Mary Honeydew) – Reg heads for Venus in his brand-new untried rocket ship, with a brand-new untried weapon, to give those alien fiends what for! And save the world, obviously. What could possibly go wrong?

Spiffing adventures ensue, by turns comical and thrilling, in a fast moving yet knowing homage to the lantern-jawed sci-fi hero of yesteryear, written by Sean Young and now brought joyously to life on stage.

Special mention to director Pete Bird who with only a couple of weeks to go, had to step in and play Bruce McKenzie after Joe Wilson had fallen ill with appendicitis!

Orca

Midsummer. On an isolated Atlantic island, the community prepares to enact their hallowed annual ritual. The village must choose a new ‘Daughter’ to sail with the boats and bless the fishing grounds. Keeping them safe from the roaming pods orcas for another year. Fan hopes with all her heart to be chosen. But her older sister Maggie says she must never, never go with the boats. Because Maggie swears that something happened to her out there, but no-one will admit it. No-one will even talk about it. And no-one, not even Fan, believes her.

What the papers have said about ‘Orca’:

‘A world as soaked in myth and ritual as it is with salt water’.

‘Jaws meets The Wicker Man’.

‘An unnerving play about mythical ritual sacrifice that acts as a metaphor for the present’.

‘A gut-chilling reminder that the smallest communities have room for danger, and that often the biggest risks come not from nature, but from the people who claim to want to keep you safe’.

Winner of the 2016 Papatango New Writing Prize, ‘Orca’ is a dark, intense and thrilling piece of theatre – an unflinching insight into what makes a community tolerate the unthinkable.

If you enjoyed our 2023 production of ‘Machinal’ – another pitch dark and compelling play – we think you’ll love ‘Orca’.

Please note this play contains adult themes, strong language and portrayal of violence. We’d suggest it’s not suitable for children under the age of 16 – subject to parental guidance.

The Adventures of Robin Hood

Good King Richard is dead, and the throne is now held by his brother John, a man determined to make his mark no matter what the cost to the people he rules. In Nottingham, the evil Sheriff brutally extorts higher and higher taxes for his royal master, putting dissenters to the sword. The land has never been in greater need of a hero.

This Summer, we’re back in our idyllic woodland glade at the Coulsdon Manor Hotel with that most celebrated icon of English folklore, Robin Hood. Alongside his outlaw allies, Little John, Will Scarlet, Alan A’Dale and Friar Tuck, aided by the fearless Marian Fitzwalter, they’re going to challenge the tyranny and injustice that the Sheriff and his royal patron are imposing on the good people of England, and tear the whole rotten edifice down. Or die trying.

High adventure and fun on a Summer’s evening – among the trees in the good company of the free men of Sherwood, witnessing thrilling and entertaining encounters as the fight for freedom begins, with sword, with bow, with quarterstaff and with laughter.

It’s A Wonderful Life

Bedford Falls is a small town in a big country, and for as long as he can remember, George Bailey had wanted to leave it behind and see the world, make a real difference. Somehow though, he never got the chance. Now, on a cold Christmas Eve, he stands on a snow-clad bridge parapet, looking down into the dark, icy river below. He faces ruin, but perhaps one last sacrifice can salvage some small hope for those he loves. But kind eyes are watching, and on the edge of tragedy, George is given a divine opportunity to see how his life has changed so many others.

This new adaptation of ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ by Mary Elliot Nelson follows George and many of the other inhabitants of Bedford Falls from the end of the Great War, through the Depression of the 1930’s, to the end of the Second World War. From high school prom to happy marriage, the wins and the losses, the smiles and heartbreak, the characters both good and bad that make up life in Bedford Falls.

This play is based on the now classic 1946 movie directed by Frank Capra and starring James Stewart and Donna Reed. It’s an uplifting, moving story of love, redemption and community. It’s also a brilliant, evocative slice of period small town Americana.

Accidental Death of an Anarchist

Dario Fo’s dark comedy was based on the real life events in the aftermath of a terrorist bombing in Milan. While in custody, one of the suspects, ultimately found to be innocent, ‘fell’ from a window on the fourth floor of the police station.

In this new adaptation by Tom Basden, he shifts the spotlight from 1970s Milan to London and today’s Metropolitan Police, which in recent years has staggered from crisis to crisis, with incidents and allegations of inappropriate behaviour, abuse of power, racism and misogyny, all too frequently covered up or brushed under the carpet.

The coppers in the show no doubt believe that what they’re doing is right, or at least that their possibly dubious actions are defensible, under the circumstances. Honest, guv. The maniac, our main protagonist, is out to get to the truth or something close to the truth, and on the way show the complete absurdity of the situation. The play, is, first and foremost, a farce, fast-moving, funny and frantic. You’ll find yourself laughing out loud, and then later, thinking about why…

Please note this play does include some use of strong adult language. Parents may deem it unsuitable for younger children.

1918 – When The Guns Fell Silent

A dramatic exploration of the final year of the Great War and its aftermath.

100 Years ago the Great War entered its final few months. Victory was close. But for who? And at what cost? The world would never be the same again. The social landscape of Britain altered forever.

Using songs, readings, poetry and drama, even humour, Theatre Workshop Coulsdon explores this final year of tears and revolution, and looks beyond to see the impact that this bloody clash of empires made on the century that followed.

And exhibition on the First World War and the fallen soldiers of Coulsdon, curated by local researchers, will accompany the production.

What are you about to see? It’s a good question. It’s not a play, but there is drama. It’s definitely not a comedy, although there is humour. It’s not a lecture either, though we do hope you go away with a better understanding of the events of a century ago. When it was proposed last December, one of the biggest drivers was that this would our last opportunity to explore the Great War and still be relevant to the centenary. We’d run ‘Oh, What A Lovely War’ some years back, and we could have just reprised that, but we didn’t want to cover old ground. And we didn’t just want to look at the war in general. This is the 100th anniversary of 1918, and so we wanted to focus as far as we could on that specific year.

Throughout January, February and yes, even March, we wrote dramas and narratives looking at subjects that the events of 1918 brought to the fore. Topics that interested and excited us. And we hope will interest and excite you too. Over the next couple of hours you will see them, interspersed with the poems of Sassoon, Houseman and others, along with songs either of the time or looking back at it, and a number of the ‘Forgotten Voices’ of soldiers who fought during the War. And yes, an episode from ‘Oh, What A Lovely War’. We follow a rough chronology, from January 1918 through until the modern day, hopefully showing that even now, the echoes of the war to end all wars continue to affect us.

We haven’t managed to cover everything. There’s nothing here, for instance, about the exploits of the fledgling RAF, the first London Blitz or the Spanish Flu epidemic. What we do have is, I think, an attempt to show that the soldiers of both sides were very much the same, in their hopes, expectations and experiences.

It was a war that saw over 19 million deaths, military and civilian, and over 23 million other casualties, ultimately all for no real purpose. Maybe, even 100 years on, it’s not too late to learn the lesson of the futility of war. But as George Ellison, the last British soldier to be killed in the war, and a character you will see in our performance says, ‘if we haven’t learned from this, we’ll never bloody learn…’

The Snow Queen

Kai and Gerda have been friends all their lives. So when Kai is stolen away from their village by the dreaded Snow Queen, Gerda sets out to bring him back, despite the impossible odds. Across frozen lands where the Snow Queen and her dark companion Jack Frost are increasing their icy grip, brave Gerda makes her way north, encountering friends, foes and the fantastic. But nothing will stop her finding Kai. Nothing can break the bonds of true friendship.

Written by Lucy-Ann Martin, adapted from the classic fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen, this delightful and uplifting tale is a magical adventure for all ages.

Fall under the spell of the Snow Queen this winter….

The Adventures of Dick Turpin

When Clemency Turnip’s Coffee House is closed down for ‘low morals’ and dealing in illicit liquor, her son Jack and serving-girl Polly Flinders find themselves out on the mean streets of 18th Century London and surviving on their wits. For Polly, it’s a path that may see her find her real parents. For Jack it’s a road to fame and notoriety as the land’s most celebrated highwayman!

Set in the colourful time of ‘Poldark’, ‘Tom Jones’ and Hogarth’s ‘Rake’s Progress’, this all-new pantomime adventure comes complete with outrageous Dame, girls dressed as boys, an audience participation song and every opportunity to boo the villains and cheer the heroes.

Will Turnip’s Coffee House be re-opened? Will moody and smouldering Woss Poldork regain the rights to his Cornish treacle mine? Will merchant banker Sir Beastlie Fugg get his deserved come-uppance? Will true love find its way?