Person: Jonathan Wales

Grimm Tales (2001)

A collection of traditional European folk tales are here given a new lease of life, stripping away much of the saccharine coating so many have accumulated through adaptation for children’s books, TV and film. Yes, we’re looking at you, Disney.

We’ve chosen nine tales all told, each with it’s own director and unique music composition, from one of three talented musicians, Pete Bird, Dominic Russell and Mark Taylor. See the programme for full details. The nine stories are;

Ashputtel

The Golden Goose

The Lady and the Lion

A Riddling Tale

The Hare and the Hedgehogs

Hansel and Gretel

Little Red Cap

Rumplestiltskin

The Magic Table

We like to finish our open air shows with a song, where we can. For this production, we’ve chosen ‘Who’s The Fool Now?’, an old song, first published in 1580 but most certainly far older than that. It doesn’t come from a Grimm tale, but it is a song about tall tales, and it’s also a drinking song, which given we’re sitting in a pub beer garden seems very appropriate. Join in the chorus if you fancy.

The Dracula Spectacula

It’s been seventeen years since Theatre Workshop Coulsdon first staged ‘The Dracula Spectacula’. At the time it was regarded by the group as probably the biggest and best production that had been performed by them up to that point (we’d only been in existence seven years by that time), involving over 50 people and having a full band.

1995 will be our 25th anniversary year, and we decided that we’d start the celebrations early, by revisiting what was a landmark production for the group.

Amazingly only two of those fifty members who were involved in the 1977 production are actively talking part this time – those being Chris Argles, the director who played Dracula in the original production, and Tim Young, who will recreate his role as Hans, the Innkeeper.

So, how well has ‘The Dracula Spectacula’ stood the test of time? Was it really the terrific show that we fondly remembered, or have the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia left us with a false impression? Well, let’s be honest, we had to make some changes to the script. Seventeen years doesn’t seem like a long time, but its enough to make some of the dialogue, and the characterisations, sound dated. A number of the songs too, which may have knocked them un-dead back in the day, really don’t cut it now, and so we’ve replaced them with exuberant pastiches of songs that you might just have heard before.

What you see tonight then is very much a brand-new incarnation – albeit of an old favourite, resurrected and rising from its dusty resting place with a whole new lease of life.

Whether this is the first or second time you’ve seen Theatre Workshop Coulsdon perform ‘The Dracula Spectacula’ we hope you enjoy the experience, and live to tell the tale!

A Christmas Carol

‘A Christmas Carol’ is a Victorian morality tale of an old and bitter miser, Ebenezer Scrooge, who undergoes a profound journey of redemption over the course of just one night. A financier and money-changer who has devoted his life to the accumulation of wealth, he holds anything other than money in contempt, including friendship, love and particularly the Christmas season. But when on Christmas Eve he is visited by the dread ghost of his former partner, Jacob Marley, and subsequently by other spirits who show him what his life has been before and what a bitter fate lies ahead of him, he is forced to make a decision that will change his life, and all those around him…

Pride At Southanger Park

A delightfully off-the-wall one act play, drawing on and spoofing mercilessly the literary world of Jane Austen. This ‘previously undiscovered 18th Century classic’ has been rehearsed meticulously, and yet, in the vein of ‘The Play That Goes Wrong’, a continuing sequence of disasters befalls the hapless actors who try desperately to recover their composure, their wits and their lines. The show really must go on, despite everything, and we mean everything.

Performed on just the one night, ‘Pride at Southanger Park’ formed part of an entertainment entitled ‘A Evening of Cod and Ham’, featuring a two-part quiz devised and hosted by Julian Cooper, along with music and a fish and chip supper. 

 

The Arabian Nights

For our inspiration, ‘The Arabian Nights’ draws on the 1001 tales supposedly told by Shaharazad (or Scheherazade). King Shahryar, having suffered at the hands of an unfaithful wife, has become bitter and vengeful, undertaking to marry every day, but execute each wife as the next day dawns to prevent their infidelity. Shaharazad, the clever daughter of the court vizier, volunteers to become his wife, to try and prevent the needless bloodshed. Every night she tells Shahryar a story that enthralls him, but deliberately leaves it unfinished come the sunrise, and so the King stays her execution. She does this again and again, for 1001 nights, by which point he renounces his violent ways and spares her life permanently.

In reality, the stories, which are many but nowhere near 1001, are taken from sources across the Islamic world. From Moorish Spain to the borders of China, across the Middle East, reaching as far south as sub-Saharan Africa and north to the Balkans and the Caucasus mountains. The fullest version of the 1001 tales was compiled, translated and edited by the eminent Victorian explorer, Sir Richard Burton, who had published a massive 16 volume edition in 1885. However, it remains only one of a dozen or so major retellings written across the 19th and 20th centuries.

Most of the stories are simple folk tales, a number sharing many similarities with folk tales from other cultures. Two of the tales (strangely enough, two of the most famous, ‘Aladdin’ and ‘Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves’) were almost certainly shoehorned into the collection at a late stage, bearing little resemblance to the story structure of the rest and differing in other aspects too.

For our production, we kept part of Shaharazad’s tale to frame the other tales we wanted to tell, a mere six against 800 or so we had to choose from. We’ve tried to cover a range, from the profound to the absurd, the sinister and the scary to the comic and just a little bit naughty. All human (and some non-human) life is here. Enjoy.

The tales are;

Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves

The Talking Head

The Simpleton and the Two Sharpers

The Little Hunchback

The Lady and Her Four Suitors

The Strange Tale of Sidi Nu’uman

 

The Taming of The Shrew

‘The Taming of the Shrew’ was one of Shakespeare’s earliest comedies, but has in recent years become considered by some to be controversial, mainly in its depiction of the cruel treatment handed out to the ostensible heroine, Katherina, by the her suitor and eventual husband, Petruchio. However, this was never intended to be a hard and fast primer on how men should behave with women, especially when you wish to marry them!

There are two main storylines at play here, both set around the wooing of a woman by a suitor, or in Bianca’s case, a number of suitors. Katherina is shown as being wilful, haughty, disobedient even, when in fact she is merely displaying an independence of thought and spirit. Her father, Baptista, being of an older generation, has no understanding of this, and though he truly loves her and wishes to protect her, he sees the biggest barrier to her ongoing happiness as herself and her attitude. Bianca, the younger daughter, plays a very different game. Her supplicatory attitude to her father’s ways earns his favour, and is indulged. Her gentler ways, and good looks, also earn her the attention of the pragmatic Hortensio and the aging and foolish Gremio, both vying for her hand, and undoubtedly her dowry. Baptista is a wealthy man. Into this come two new protagonists. Petruchio of Verona appears to see Katherina as a challenge, and becomes seemingly determined to ‘break her’ as you would a wild horse. Lucentio, from a wealthy family in Pisa, has come to Padua to study but falls for Bianca and so cooks up a scheme to woo her by disguising himself as a Latin tutor. The scene is therefore set for some absurd behaviour and comedic antics set around confused identities such as Shakespeare delighted in.

As the play comes to an end, each of the two women reach a decision over their futures and they are very different, but also very personal to them as individuals. In some ways, neither woman has been portraying themselves honestly, that is, true to their natures, before this point. And more obviously, neither Petruchio or Lucentio have been themselves either. Each couple will now face a future with the facades stripped away. Whether those relationships will thrive, we can only guess at.

This was Lucy-Ann Martin’s first production in the director’s chair. All the more impressive given that at the time she was just 16. And though she was supported by both her family and the group in the endeavour, as you’d expect, it remains a remarkable achievement.

Dr Ho

It’s Bond. James Bond. But you’ve never seen him like this.

Britain’s finest, and most well-known, spy has encountered threats over the years that have endangered his life, his country and even the world, but now someone is placing Christmas itself in peril! Plucked from the night skies, Santa Claus has been kidnapped and here’s only one man who can possibly find him in time before the world’s children open their eyes on Christmas morning, and find… nothing! But will a fondness for fast cars, faster women, a particular martini and a licence to kill be enough?

Mark Taylor draws on 007’s significant rogue gallery to populate this panto with vile villains galore and their perfectly hissable henchmen. Dr Ho. Ernst Stavro Blowave. Bob-a-Job. Rosa Widdecombe. Jaws. (‘What’s Jaws?’ ‘Thank you, mine’s a pint.’) However, this time around, Bond isn’t working solo. Enter Ada Bagwash, MI5’s cleaner. Is she really what she appears? Or is she a deep-cover intelligence operative with the tactical nous of a bagful of generals and the combat potential of a Gorilla with a machine gun? Sad to say, she’s just a cleaner, but what she lacks in intelligence… let’s just leave it there. Throw in a casino, an atomic reactor and a couple of women with unlikely and sexually provocative names, not to mention the all-singing Bondettes and their backing band, and you have a pantomime to live and let die for.

Mission briefing over, report to Q Branch to pick up your tickets now.

Inspector Drake and The Time Machine

The professor’s dead body is found floating in the study, his daughter has vanished, and everything points to the mysterious time machine sitting innocently in one corner. Can Inspector Drake, ably hampered by Sergeant Plod, solve this crime that defies logical explanation?

In the course of the investigation, and by a freak of science, our heroes are hurtled into the year 2950, and onto the deck of an alien spaceship. Plod becomes momentarily super intelligent, and tries to make love to a robot, while Drake uncovers a fiendish plot to take over the world and falls into the groping hands of the sex-starved High Priestess of Zircon. The Met’s new guidelines for policing don’t cover this!

The one-liners fly fast and furious in this absurd comedy from the prolific pen of David Tristram.

Peter And The Wolf! – A Pantomime of Old Russia

A pantomime drawing on all sorts of classic old Russian themes? Coming right up, comrade!

The villain of the piece is Grand Duchess Irina Bogovsky, whose personal vanity and quest for immortality has led her down a dark path, as only by sacrificing young peasant girls will she stave off her personal march of time. Against her is set the heroic, young, thigh-slapping principal girl, Pyotyr Pyotrovich, who must rescue her true love from the Duchess’s evil machinations.

Does Pyotyr stand a chance against the devilish Irina and her fiendish Cossack ally Ivan and his men?

Oh no, he doesn’t!

Oh yes, he does!

With Grandmother Masha by his side, and help from various over-sized and over-furry animals, Pyotr will trawl through an entertainingly curated collection of recognisable Russian folklore, from mad monks to Firebirds, rescue Dasha and free the motherland. With songs too!

That’s Theatre Workshop for you, always giving you plenty of bang for your rouble.