Treasure Island – The Panto, or ‘Panto Walks The Plank’

Richard Lloyd (with apologies to Robert Louis Stevenson)

Performed at Coulsdon Youth and Social Centre
Six performances from December 9–17, 1995 📅

About the Production

‘Treasure Island’, that perennial favourite of British children since its first publication, might seem like an obvious candidate for panto treatment. However, actually arriving at a well-rounded pantomime, incorporating all the essential elements of that genre but also sticking fairly strictly to the plot and characters of Stevenson’s great novel, poses a few problems!

So if ‘Panto Walks The Plank!’ gets under way as a close pastiche of ‘Treasure Island’, you might notice it change tack part way through, in order to accommodate a boarding party of pirate clichés inspired by a wider literature.

After all, as any fan of the Hollywood pirate epics of the 1930s and 1940s will tell you, ‘Treasure Island’ (one of the most famous adventure stories in English literature) is fatally flawed. There’s absolutely no love interest. In fact there are no women at all, with the exception of Mrs Hawkins, and she’s written out of the plot by page 27!

Now, no good pirate movie was truly complete without the love interest, usually represented by Maureen O’Hara. Or the presence of the dastardly Spanish, immaculately attired, elegantly presented and constantly scheming. In fact, the two elements were so quintessential that they were frequently combined through the well-worn dramatic device of ‘Swashbuckling hero falls for the haughty yet gorgeous daughter of the wicked Spanish governor’. So, expect to find both in our version too,

There are other important omissions from ‘Treasure Island’ that undermine its credentials as a bona-fide all-round classic pirate story. For instance, absolutely no-one walks the plank! Now, as it happens, that’s probably because no-one ever really did walk the plank. People who really know their pirates will tell you that this infamous punishment was simply the macabre whimsy of the Victorians and their overheated imaginations. However, if you’re set on telling a good old-fashioned blood and thunder tale of skulduggery on the high seas, you’ve got to include it. It’s part of the tradition.

Being a pantomime also dictates certain changes to the story. For instance, no-one is horribly murdered. Any violence is strictly of the gratuitous slapstick variety. And of course, Long John’s legendary parrot serves splendidly as a pantomime animal. This one even talks! And a ‘Crimson Parakeet’ does have a certain resonance with the 1952 Burt Lancaster comedy adventure movie, ‘The Crimson Pirate’, filmed in glorious Technicolour!

So, shiver your timbers and splice your mainbrace, while Theatre Workshop heaves to and delivers a hefty broadside of fun and adventure. And you may lay to that, arrrrrh!

The Cast

Tim Young Squire Polperro, 'Oons, Sirrah, an English gentleman'
Kimberley Argles The Hon. Nancy Polperro, adorable principal girl
Chris Argles Doctor Liversausage, a seafaring quack
Bruce Montgomery Capt. Smellit, hard-bitten master of 'The Grand Pianola'
Derek Crouch Billy Fishbones, an inebriated old soak
Neil Grew Long John Slither, an untrustworthy amputee
Lisa Lloyd Pink Dog, a villainous pirate of the female gender
Paul M Ford Blind Puke, a visually challenged pirate
Pete Bird Israel Feet, a pirate
Matthew Marsh George Merry, a pirate
Daniel Ireson Seamus 'Groundbait' O'Flaherty, a nearly Irish buccaneer
Claire Andreadis Jim Ladd, a brisk young spark and principal boy
Mike Brown Mrs Ladd, Jim's mum and pantomime dame
Paul Breden Bodmin, the Squire's faithful (but useless) lackey
Simon Crouch Newquay, the Squire's other faithful (but useless) lackey
Tina Bretman Bertha Gunn, a potty old ex-pirate and tea lady
Penny Simeone Captain Haddock, a Guatemalan Crimson Parakeet
Richard Lloyd Don Iguana Del Anaconda Con Queso
Vicky Gunstone Donna Estella Del Torremolinos Chimichanga
Tatiana Allison Pirate
Ross Dunleavy Pirate
Catriona Farrell Pirate
Paul M Ford Pirate
Elaine Marsh Pirate
Laura Morley Pirate
Jonathan Wales Pirate
Sean Young Pirate
Mark Taylor Band - Piano and Keyboards
Simeon Dawes Band - Guitars
Phil Gunstone Band - Bass Guitar
Kevin Gibbons Band - Drums

Behind the Scenes

Richard Lloyd Skipper (Director)
Tatiana Allison First Mate (Assistant Director) Shanties, jigs and suchlike
Mark Taylor Bosun (Musical Director)
Peter Gregory Sound Effects and Operation
Jeremy Simms Lighting
Mark Hobbs Technical Co-ordinator
Kevin Boot Stage Management
Simon Poole Stage Management
Angela Williams Wardrobe
Tim Young Box Office
Lesley Argles Front of House
Sheila Bird Front of House
Suzi Brown Front of House
James Crouch Front of House
Sheila Crouch Front of House
Richard Daniels Front of House
Julie Montgomery Front of House
Andy Robinson Front of House
Jeremy Ronald Front of House

The Reviews

I am not sure whether they swash buckles or buckle swashes, so I shall play safe and just say this innovative panto by Richard Lloyd shivers a few timbers. At the risk of being made to walk the plank myself, I say it could be tightened up quite a lot. The ending in particular, with its long-winded explanations and resolutions could certainly do with a touch of the cutlass. Three cheers though for the novel idea of building a panto round a free-wheeling treatment of Treasure Island; for the ingenuity of its working; and for the rollicking spirit of an enthusiastic cast.

In a daring departure from tradition, Principal Girl Kimberley Argles, as bright as a new pin and plucky with it, and Claire Andreadis as clean-limbed a Principal Boy as ever graced the Admirable Bimbo Inn, actually desert each other for other lovers. There’s modern for you. She belongs to the Quality, he to the deserving poor. her father is filthy rich Squire Polperro, high-handedly played by Timothy Young, lording it something rotten over Paul Breden and Simon Crouch as his lackeys Bodmin and Newquay.

Mrs Ladd, mother to the Principal Boy, is played by Michael Brown, a splendid specimen of the three Rs of Dames; ripe, raddled and raucous. You can’t help liking one who can crack such terrible jokes with such an air of injured innocence. Neil Grew’s Long John Slither is the three Os; overripe, outlandish and over the top. It suits the character well, and he lays on the accent, like everything else, with a trowel.

Richard Lloyd, author and director, brings a modicum of old-world dignity to the proceedings as a suave, wealthy Spaniard.

Mark Taylor is in charge of the music (good and loud), and the high standard of singing reflects the confidence of the cast.

 

Donald Madgwick for The Croydon Advertiser

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