Gwen Russell – Theatre Workshop Coulsdon

Grimm Tales (2001)

A collection of traditional European folk tales are here given a new lease of life, stripping away much of the saccharine coating so many have accumulated through adaptation for children’s books, TV and film. Yes, we’re looking at you, Disney.

We’ve chosen nine tales all told, each with it’s own director and unique music composition, from one of three talented musicians, Pete Bird, Dominic Russell and Mark Taylor. See the programme for full details. The nine stories are;

Ashputtel

The Golden Goose

The Lady and the Lion

A Riddling Tale

The Hare and the Hedgehogs

Hansel and Gretel

Little Red Cap

Rumplestiltskin

The Magic Table

We like to finish our open air shows with a song, where we can. For this production, we’ve chosen ‘Who’s The Fool Now?’, an old song, first published in 1580 but most certainly far older than that. It doesn’t come from a Grimm tale, but it is a song about tall tales, and it’s also a drinking song, which given we’re sitting in a pub beer garden seems very appropriate. Join in the chorus if you fancy.

The Canterbury Tales (2011)

It is the 14th Century, and in the bustling courtyard of The Tabard Inn, Southwark, men and women from all walks of life gather for a pilgrimage to the cathedral at Canterbury. Friars and priests, pardoners and summoners, millers and good wives. In order to entertain these good folk, the host of the inn asks that each traveller tells a story as they make their way across Kent. And so they, and we, begin our journey.

In this joyous adaptation of Geoffrey Chaucer’s classic work by Richard Lloyd, Theatre Workshop Coulsdon present six of the best and most colourful tales, creating an exuberant and and often hilarious portrait of ordinary folk preoccupied with petty jealousies, mundane squabbles and simple pleasures. Bold and often bawdy, these tales bring home vividly just how little the English people have really changed over the last six hundred years!

The stories presented are The Nun’s Priest’s Tale, The Wife of Bath’s Tale, The Friar’s Tale, The Pardoner’s Tale, The Miller’s Tale and The Reeves Tale, neatly wrapped in an engaging background as host and landlord Harry Bailey attempts to maintain order amongst his boisterous and often wayward charges.

Chaucer (1343 – 1400) is widely considered to be the greatest English poet of the Middle Ages, and was the first poet to be buried in Poet’s Corner at Westminster Abbey. While he achieved fame during his lifetime as an author, philosopher, alchemist and astronomer, Chaucer also maintained an active career in the civil service as a bureaucrat, diplomat and courtier. His many works include ‘The Book of the Duchess’, ‘The House of Fame’, ‘The Legend of Good Women’ and ‘Troilus and Criseyde’, but it is ‘The Canterbury Tales’, in which he uses the tales to paint an ironic and critical picture of English society, for which he will always be remembered.

As You Like It

Ever been young and in love? Shakespeare must have been, because this is a play that understands the sheer giddy joy of love, and the desperate lengths it can drive us to. ‘As You Like It’ is sometimes seen as a counterpoint to ‘Romeo and Juliet’ – love as comedy rather than tragedy. Rosalind is certainly no pale and wan Juliet, but arguably Shakespeare’s most memorable heroine. She has more lines than Juliet, Cleopatra, Beatrice and Portia, any of them. Maybe Shakespeare was just a little in love with his own creation. And who could blame him? She’s the kind of girl you’d want to spend time with, vital; brave; clever; funny and devoted. Oh, a bit of a liability too, of course, but fun to be around.

So, what’s the story? Well, firstly, there are two Dukes. The ‘good’ Duke, called Senior, has been toppled from power by his very own brother, the ‘bad’ Duke, Ferdinand. Senior is then exiled to the nearby Forest of Arden, where he seems to enjoy a carefree life hunting, shooting, fishing and singing. It seems that banishment has been more of a blessing than a curse. Meanwhile his brother’s court is an altogether darker place, full of gossip, scheming and suspicion. Now, each of the Dukes has a daughter, and the two girls are inseparable friends. It’s this that has initially prevented Rosalind from being exiled along with her father, but when Ferdinand finally casts her out, both she and Ferdinand’s daughter Celia run away. Of course, by this point, love has raised its head, and Rosalind has fallen for Orlando, a young man at court being persecuted by his less than pleasant older brother. Thankfully, he’s in love with her too, so when she leaves court for the Forest, he follows. However, Rosalind has now disguised herself a boy, calling herself ‘Ganymede’, and it’s in this form that Orlando finds her and in classic style, doesn’t recognise her. To make things more convoluted, Sylvius the shepherd boy is besotted with Phoebe, who in turn only has eyes for Ganymede!

Themes such as the liberating power of love, sibling rivalry and restitution, the healing force of nature and the simple pleasures of country life are all explored here, despite the plot being frankly ludicrous at times. And there’s a happy ending. Several in fact, as brothers are no longer at odds, lovers have put aside disguise and all is well. Except perhaps for Jaques, who has been melancholy throughout and decides ultimately to go off and be miserable in a monastery. You can’t please everyone.

The text has been trimmed in TWC’s version. Many topical gags that no doubt had them rolling in the groundlings back in 1599 are now impenetrable, and worse, not funny. If you’re a purist, prepare for disappointment, but it’s for the greater good.

There are more songs in ‘As You Like It’ than any other Shakespeare play. We’ve kept them and set them to traditional tunes. One of them, ‘What Shall He have That Killed The Deer’, shares many of its lyrics with ‘Hal-An’Tow’, the traditional Cornish May song. The version here is an amalgam of the two, complete with its reference to defeating the Spanish Armada, which at the time the play was first performed had happened just ten years previously. Many thanks are due to Jeannie Lewis who led the arrangement of all the songs and incidental music, and with the other musicians will be playing live on stage throughout the run of the show.

The Changeling

Licensed on 7 May 1622, The Changeling, by Thomas Middleton and William Rowley, is widely seen as one of the best plays of the Jacobean era (the reign of King James I). It’s a violent, baroque tale that manages to be both funny and horrific in its parallel plots.

Beatrice-Joanna – spoilt, rich, beautiful – is blinded by desire for Alsemero, but betrothed to Piracquo. To rid herself of her unwanted fiancé, she enlists Deflores – a disfigured servant who both repels and fascinates her. But Deflores has desires of his own, and Beatrice-Joanna has no idea of the terrible price he will exact.

Meanwhile, in the asylum, a pair of noblemen masquerade as lunatics to have their wicked way with the madhouse-keeper’s young wife. This comic plot holds up a mirror to the main plot, offering an alternative take on the same themes of madness and infatuation.

Who is the changeling of the title? Well superficially, it’s Antonio, one of the madhouse imposters. But the true changeling is Beatrice-Joanna – the young noblewoman who inexplicably turns into an amoral monster. In Middleton and Rowley’s England, people would have had no hesitation in blaming witchcraft for such a sudden, total collapse of character. Including the substitution of an apparently dutiful and virtuous daughter by some evil surrogate or changeling.

The playwrights know better of course. They deftly show how a few fateful steps take an impressionable young mind from the delirium of love to dangerous obsession. But is Beatrice-Joanna deluded, deranged or simply hapless? Does she really make the fatal mistake of engaging a contract killer without understanding the nature of the contract? Is she a spoilt little rich girl, whose game of dare spirals out of control, or a calculating sociopath? This central riddle is one reason why The Changeling remains such a compelling thriller, four centuries after it was first performed.

Middleton and Rowley

Like Shakespeare, Thomas Middleton (1580-1627) was a successful jobbing playwright in the flourishing heyday of the early English theatre. He turned out dozens of plays, masques and pageants between 1602 and 1624. He collaborated with, amongst many others, Shakespeare himself, and is known to be responsible for parts of several of Shakespeare’s plays including Macbeth and The Winter’s Tale.

Middleton is generally credited with the tragic main plot of The Changeling, whilst Rowley is thought to be responsible for much of the comic sub-plot. But the hand of each man is also present in sections of the play attributed to the other. Middleton in particular had forged a style very much of his own, turning the conventional ‘aside’ into a parallel reality where characters converse with each other whilst sharing their thoughts with the audience – an intriguing subversion of the theatrical convention of his day.

Middleton was ahead of his time in his writing style too. He was capable of superb verse. But in The Changeling his dialogue is spare, gritty and workaday – more natural and immediate than Shakespeare’s. In fact, the play owes much to changes which coincided with the end of Shakespeare’s career. By the 1620’s, the outdoor Elizabethan playhouses had closed. The Changeling, first staged at The Cockpit in Drury Lane, forms part of a later genre known as ‘Revenge Tragedy’. These plays were tailored for cramped indoor theatres – hot, claustrophobic, and lit only by guttering candles. Small wonder The Changeling seems so gothic, shadowy and stifling.

That said, Middleton and Rowley’s setting of ‘Alicante’ owes very little to Spain, and a great deal to the London the authors knew so well. With the asylum in particular, we are clearly in London’s Bedlam, and being royally entertained – as Londoners were – by madness.

Cinderella’s Puss In Boots

Take the classic story of Cinderella, add the bluff and swagger of Puss in Boots, and you get two much-loved seasonal tales woven into one sparkling festive show.

Yes, we’ve put panto favourites Cinderella and Puss on stage together for the first time, in an irreverent mash-up of two much-loved seasonal tales. That means you get two principal boys for the thigh-slapping price of one, the most deliciously appalling Ugly Sisters ever to grace the stage, and the ultimate in hissable baddies – King Rat, evil lord of the underworld. Plus, of course, Puss-in-Boots at his irresistible, swashbuckling best. Beautiful Cinderella undergoes the usual series of traumas, trials and torments – until her Ab-Fab style fairy godmothers and fashion gurus breeze in to save the day with a haute couture transformation guaranteed to catch a prince’s heart. This is a top-notch Cinderella, with just that little bit extra panto goodness thrown into the mix.

Set in, and under, the fairy-tale land of Cornucopia, ruled by good(ish) King Egbert, the action starts with something evil stirring in the darkness below, and it’s got a tail, whiskers and cheap crown…

Lords and Ladies

It’s a hot midsummer’s night in the tiny kingdom of Lancre, up in the far northern hill country of Discworld. Crop circles are turning up everywhere, bursting like raindrops, a portent of wayward magic leaking into the land from between the standing stones known as ‘The Dancers’.

Magrat Garlick, witch, is getting married in the morning – to King Verence of Lancre no less. The wizards of the Unseen University are journeying north from the great city of Ankh-Morpork to bless the union, and the Lancre All-Comers Morris Team have been lined up to stage a rustic entertainment for the happy couple. In short, everything should be going like a dream.

But all is not well in Lancre. Elves, long banished from the human realm are pushing at the iron boundaries of their barren winter land, bringing with them all those things traditionally associated with the magical, glittering realm of faerie: cruelty, kidnapping, malice and murder.

‘The Dancers’ form the gateway between the two worlds, and for many years, Granny Weatherwax and her tiny argumentative coven have worked to keep that portal tightly closed. But now a new coven, led by the young, ambitious and wilful Diamanda (real name Lucy Tockley, but Diamanda sounds so much better) are determined to overturn the old order…

And when the Lancre morris team gets seriously drunk on a fairy mound, all Hell is ready to break loose. In short, it’s a festival of dwarves, wizards, trolls, morris dancers – plus an orang-utan, with a fair helping of hey-nonny-nonny and blood all over the place… We hope you enjoy tonight’s performance!

A big thank you to Debbie Bradshaw and Katy Tupholme at Bluetree Design and Print of Rotherham for designing our posters for the production, and to Mark Lewis and Nick Hewson at Mastercolour of Tunbridge Wells for printing them.

‘Lords and Ladies’ (1992) is adapted from the comic fantasy novel by prolific author Terry Pratchett, his fourteenth set on Discworld, and the fourth to feature the Lancre coven of witches led by the redoubtable Esmerelda ‘Esme’ Weatherwax, a character who Pratchett clearly enjoyed revisiting. Astonishingly successful, he sold over 100 million copies of his books, forty-one of which were Discworld novels, and he was awarded first the OBE in 1998 and then a knighthood in 2009. He died at the age 66, from complications relating to Alzheimer’s Disease, which he had been diagnosed with in 2007.

Following on from ‘Wyrd Sisters’ in 1995 and ‘Mort’ in 1997, ‘Lords and Ladies’ is the third stage adaptation of a Discworld novel that Theatre Workshop Coulsdon have undertaken, and any similarities to Shakespeare’s ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ are purely intentional. Nor is it a coincidence that all three have been directed by Mike Brown.

The Mummy – The Panto

A brand-new and original pantomime from the fevered imagination of Mark Taylor, who wrote the script, directed the show and the music as well as played piano and keyboards. That’s dedication. Or possibly he’s just a control freak. Either way, this unique tale follows the adventures of a daring expedition into Egypt, in search of the tomb of Imhotep, lost to history thousands of years ago. Professor Pottering and Rose Garden not only have the threat of the evil Ardet Bey to contend with, and the curse that surrounds the long-dead ancient Egyptian ruler, but Mrs Beryl Pie’n’mash, foisted upon them by the needs of a pantomime to contain at least one man dressed as a woman with no dress sense and make-up applied in the dark with a trowel. There is nothing like this Dame.

Brokers men Muk-Itup and Kok-itup are on hand to help carry out Ardet Bey’s malicious wishes, but incompetently, of course, and there’s a four piece band to accompany a dozen songs all hand-picked and adapted to amuse and entertain.

All in all, a trip to the sun-scorched desert by the banks of the Nile with Theatre Workshop Coulsdon is a great way to spend a cold December evening.

The Three Musketeers – Le Panteau

Our pantomime version of ‘Treasure Island’ was not only immense fun for us to do, but proved to be a big hit, not just here in Coulsdon but in the wider world of amateur theatre. In the two years since its publication, there have been over 60 productions of our tongue-in-cheek swashbuckling tale!

So, what better reason to give another classic story of adventure and derring-do the pantomime treatment. Like ‘Treasure Island’, ‘The Three Musketeers’ transcends age and generations, and has slipped across the border from literature into folklore. Written originally in 1844, there have been so many adaptations over the years, across so many media, that people who are perfectly familiar with the characters, the plot and the musketeers’ bold call to arms, have never read so much as a word of Alexandre Dumas’ original tale. Athos, Porthos, Aramis and D’Artagnan are no longer confined to the printed page, they are creatures of myth, with a life all their own.

So, our pantomime is not so much a spoof of the book, as a pastiche of the very idea of ‘The Three Musketeers’, only taking those parts of the plot and the characters that easily lend themselves to being funny. Yes, it does bear some resemblance to the original, but only very loosely (probably about as much as the usual Hollywood treatment). One very significant difference to most versions is that in ours, D’Artagnan and the other gallant comrades in arms are all played by women.

It’s our opinion that the female of the species can swashbuckle as well any male, but rarely are they given the chance. Well, here’s that chance, and alongside Dame D’Artagnan (the would-be musketeer’s aunt) and a pantomime snail (yes, really) they will fight for honour, justice and outright silliness, along with some excellent songs.

‘All for one, and one for all!’*

*For the record, Dumas may have used this as the Musketeers motto and made it famous, but guess who wrote it and used it first? Yep, William Shakespeare, in his narrative poem of 1594, ‘The Rape of Lucrece’. We’ll not be making a panto out of that.

The Merry Wives of Windsor

‘The Merry Wives of Windsor’ is one of Shakespeare’s more unusual comedies. No strange land for this one for a start. No far-flung Illyria, exotic Messina or Syracuse, but instead the action centres round The Garter Inn in Windsor. A real place no less, and one that stands to this day. Similarly, the Princes, Dukes and sundry other nobles that inhabit so many of his tales are notable by their complete absence, replaced by the title-less and newly prosperous middle classes. The only knight of the realm that features is the rascally, roguish Sir John Falstaff, a knave who sets out with poor intentions to fool the good wives of Windsor out of money, but fails spectacularly at every turn.

It is said that the character of Falstaff was one that Queen Elizabeth herself was most fond of. He appeared first in Henry IV Part One, and again in Henry IV Part Two, a portly, aging disreputable sot, too fond of his drink and of cheap women, forever lacking in funds. Quick to borrow, never to repay, and cowardly to boot, Falstaff does retain a certain charm and zest for life, and it’s this, for a time, that endears him to Prince Hal. However, when the prince becomes the King, all his former life is left behind, including Falstaff. In Henry V, Mistress Quickly delivers a eulogy outlining the circumstances of his death, and there, one might suppose, was the end of him. If a queen commands though, a humble playwright must write, and so, two years after his death, Sir John Falstaff lived again.

So ‘The Merry Wives…’ is what we would call today a ‘prequel’. Reunited with his low-life comrades, Pistol, Nym and Bardolph (the latter two also dying in Henry V, executed for looting), Falstaff unknowingly engages in a battle of wits with Mistress Page and Mistress Ford and finds himself distinctly unarmed, or at least badly under-gunned. Unlike the bittersweet nature of his antics in the histories though, these adventures are purely comedy, descending almost into farce. It dispenses with the oft-used conventions of romantic comedy, such as the mistaken identity, the flirtatious wordplay, the lovesick entanglements, and replaces them with Falstaff, the aging would-be suitor and lothario (supremely lacking in self-awareness) falling for the tricks being being played on him. In parallel, middle-aged, middle-class Francis Ford, consumed with ill-founded jealousy, repeatedly makes a fool of himself while attempting to prove, vainly, his wife an adulterer.

It’s funny, but this, undoubtedly the most original of Shakespeare’s works, drawing on no ancient text or foreign translation, is looked down upon by numerous scholars of the Bard. They seem to forget that the texts weren’t designed to be pored over, dissected and examined by fusty literary experts. It was created to have life on the stage, uproarious, physical life as popular entertainment.

And that is what you have before you. Enjoy.

Twelfth Night (1999)

What is Twelfth night? Well, it is, traditionally, the last night of the twelve days of Christmas, and falls on either the 5th or 6th of January, depending on whether you start counting on Christmas Day or Boxing Day. A Christian festival, superstition has it that leaving your decorations up after the twelfth night is unlucky, and other customs surrounding the date include singing carols, eating cake and having your house blessed. None of which are remotely connected to Shakespeare’s play of the same name. The source of its naming remains a mystery, though some make tenuous links to the awarding of the title ‘Lord of Misrule’ and the wild abandon or ‘a world turned upside down’ which may possibly have formed part of the festivities on the day during Elizabethan times. However, that’s somewhat overselling the action contained within the play.

What we have is a resourceful heroine, Viola, who having been shipwrecked and washed up on the shores of an unknown land, adopts the masculine persona ‘Cesario’, to enhance her chances of survival. She falls into the employ of Orsino, the Duke of Illyria, who is hopelessly smitten with the Countess Olivia, a woman in mourning for her recently departed brother. Orsino uses Cesario as a go-between to advance his romantic case, but unfortunately Olivia falls for Cesario instead. Worse still, Viola has become infatuated with Orsino, but can’t do anything because she’s pretending to be a man.

Olivia’s household is a place overrun with guests and servants. The steward, Malvolio, is a pompous ass disliked by all. Sir Toby Belch, Olivia’s uncle seems to be a permanent resident, drinking and carousing with his frankly gormless associate Sir Andrew Aguecheek, and flirting with Maria, one of the sharper of Olivia’s housemaids. It is she who formulates a plan, with the two dissolute knights, to take Malvolio down a peg or two by persuading the steward that Olivia secretly loves him.

And into all this walks Sebastian, Viola’s identical twin brother. Thought drowned by his sister, he did in fact survive the shipwreck and is now endlessly confused by people referring to him, and more, as Cesario…

TWC have, somewhat inevitably, been forced to cut back some of the script. Feste, Olivia’s fool or jester, is mainly there to add even more of a comic touch to this already amusing situation. Sadly, what was undoubtedly hilarious to the groundlings in 1602 falls these days on ears that have no understanding of the references being used, and so much of his ‘stand-up routine’ has been excluded. We present ‘Twelfth Night’ as we guess it was intended to be played – an exhilarating and romantic romp, shot through with a vein of wistful lyricism, delivered with exuberance and delight. The alternative title for the play is ‘What you will’, seemingly indicating that Shakespeare was happy to leave the title to the preference of the audience. Whatever you call it, it remains one of his funniest romantic comedies. Enjoy.